I am back to issues with the man upstairs

I am troubled this week!

I want to know why some things just plain SUCK! Why is it that some people seem to have trail after trial and others just seem to sail right on through. Who decides who gets to have no trouble ever paying rent or whos kid gets sick or who gets to go on lavish vacations every year. I know most things come down to desicions we make. I know most of my problems the Lord will say "that was all you I had nothing to do with that" But I have some other things (other friends) that I would like to say "What happend" I am not going to go much further now but soon I will elaborate. When I can gather my thoughts and not be so random.

My kids

I am not a journal keeper, I love it but have not been able to keep it up for years, so here I am gushing about my baby when it hits me, this is a journal. So I have started new blogs one for each of my kids. I will keep up there journals on line. Let me know what you think!! The list is to the left First, second, third.

So in love am I

I am in love. Very much smitten by a very sweet boy. He came into my life Late last year and has had a hold on my heart ever since. I do not know what it is about him that makes him different than the first two special people who came to me but he is. Of course I am talking about my newest child!! My sweet little boy. I have told him many times that he is my favorite baby and it is true. I seem to have bonded with him so much earlier than my first two children. I do not love him more than them. I just think I have come to know him faster, or maybe I have mellowed out more.

With my first baby I was so young (by most standards am still am very young) just barely 21. He came and he screamed. It seems he did not stop screaming until he walked away from me. Thank goodness at 9 months. Then he was followed by a little girl, she is very much a girl. Always creating drama which is a fun change from trains and monster trucks. but I was still trying to BE everything to them both and still be everything to myself and my sweet husband. I loved being a mom and I love being his wife. But I was still not very comfortable with the idea that this was all up to me. I was the person meant to bring these precious and most times challenging spirits to full bloom. I was overwhelmed to say the least.

Then When I found out Number three was coming I was not sure how I felt, I was partially saddened by him not knowing if I could handle being a mother to three hard child.

Then came the hard part. I was so sick, and in bed for most of nine months. Hooked up to I.V. poles, throwing up blood, in and out of Doctors offices and hospitals, nurses in and out of my house taking blood,and pressures and all sorts of things. Such a labor of love. We did not find out the sex of the baby and so that is what we called him "the baby" I think for that reason and for being so miserable I did not think of him as real. With the other two I was buying clothes and binkies and swings, having baby showers and doing lots of things to make them real children before they were born. But he just stayed within me, tucked safely away where not even I thought much about him.

When he was born I met my sweet baby who came out so quietly again I hardly realized he was there. Then because we had been through it all before my dear husband and mother both left me to tend to my other children. So I spent the time in the hospital just holding my baby. He was mine. It did not matter how he got there just that he was and now he was mine. We really bonded that first night together. we became fast friends and I fell in love. He is the most amazing baby I have ever heard of. If Guinness gave a record for good babies he would be it. He is so sweet and I am not afraid of him at all like I was with my first babies. He brought peace from the heavens to my home and I will love him for that always!!

So to my favorite baby I love you sweet heart!!

Haapy Birthday Mom

Mom I wish I had the words to say

To thank you on this special day

To tell you what you mean to me

You made me who I want to be

When you were born who knew the road

you wander would seem so very slow

"Been through so much", they seem to say

As you travel along your way

Your smile does deceive them so

You as special you would hat to show

But to me you are as rare as sand

That turns to pearl within Gods hand

You've been both the sculpture and the clay

Seen the child and the mothers day

And what a mother you have been

Even on the days you were pecked like a hen

Grace is the word that got you through

Pink is the color I think of for you

A lady you were and will always be

Even if I did end up as the pea

I wish I was there to see you cheer

to watch the candle flame disappear

But from afar I want to say

I'm so glad you were born

On this special day.

Her Brother!!

A very good friend of mine was a middle child, not only that she was proceeded by a very gifted daughter and followed by a severely handicapped son. She felt lost in the struggle to say the least! She felt kind of alone in her life her parents both clinging to the son they were so desperately trying to keep in their home and out of a hospital. It seemed she was always being asked to help out, to change her 9 year old brothers diaper, take him for a walk, or feed him his dinner. She found allot of joy in the task but every once in awhile found it a hard burden to bear. She asked allot of questions about why this was her life, why this was her struggle. But when she stopped to look she would see in his eyes the angel that he was. The beautiful spirit too pure to be tested that was living in her home and sharing in her life. Then one day when she was older she was ready to get her life's blessing. she went to the patriarch and sat in the chair. Her mind was wondering back to the morning of her special day that was spent trying to get Ryan to eat his breakfast and she could not help but feel a little sorry for throwing her own fit for the chaos.

As the patriarch put his hands on her and started her sweet blessing a calm came over her. She was filled with the spirit and at the end the only part she could remember was when the patriarch told her of her sweet brother, the one who guided her through the pre-existence. And who helped her find her way. The special person who helped her so much then that now it was her turn to return the favor.

Even now years later, the boy has had to go into a home for the handicapped, but every single day she goes to see him. Even in her busy life that is now filled with children, Errands, and chores she goes to thank the man who she knows is the reason she came to earth, the man who helped her so much before that she will help him however she can. Until one day she will see him in the next life and they can spend it together taking care of each other again. Only then will she know that when she says I love you he will hear it and understand But even more he will be able to return the words to her.

Primary overload

I got called to be the new primary secretary in our brand new recently split ward! Holy Cow!! It just may kill me, at least the next few weeks while every week every thing has to be re- done to make the changes we come up with at the meetings. Not only did the ward change but we went to a new building, so now for two weeks we have had to change up room assignments (the valiant 10's in a room with a nursery table and toys that is kind of funny) And No one is accepting the callings so we have been working off of subs. We are all trying our very best but, I feel like The president and I are shouldering the brunt of the work. I want to say "and what will you be doing" every time I get a call or email form one of the counselors. Oh well, just needed to release some stress. Now I will get back to fixing the signs for the doors and then I will call subs again,and then I need to put together the fathers day gift for the bishop.... I guess I have lees time today than I thought. BYE

New Blog

Chronicler AKA My Aunt, one of my Dads sisters who he cherished so much, has invited me along with all of my other family in the blogging world to join a picture blog. Everyday we will all put up a new picture within the theme she pics for the day. As excited as I am about this I am nervous. I have only just begun to tap into my creative side which I know flows through all of there veins equally with there lifes blood. I hope to keep up with all of there genious. It will be a challange for me but I am up for the task. It will be so fun. And a wonderful way to catch up with these wemon who I love from afar and who I admire so much, I also have a little bit of jealosy for there memories of my father I love to ask them questions and build my dream world of him around all of there real memories. Before we dive off of this really sappy cliff I will end Check us out. at http://anodisasgood.blogspot.com/ A blog built up of wemon who live scattered throughout the country, and life stages.

Little Bro

Sorry Smee' He flies for free because he is just an awesome guy and people just throw money at him all the time to better the world!!! No way, He has just tried to get as close to the airline industry as he can so he is running an area of the cargo department for Delta in Las Vegas. He could tell you great stories of the things, amounts of money, animals, bodies, safes, all kinds of things that he helps people put onto planes. One time while I was in town still he had a shipment of Alaskan Lobsters going to one of the really snooty resorts in town and a couple of the Lobsters had died on the way. Well the very snooty place would not take them and the company that shipped them did not want to pay to ship them back so needless to say we all ate well that night!! Really the best Lobster I have ever had.

Whirl Wind Weekend

What a great time we had!!!! We got into town at at 11 am on Friday and then we just did not stop all weekend. I clung to my mom's side all weekend only detaching long wnough to visit an aunt and then to atttend the baby blessing we went down to see. My husband and I hardly saw each other because he stayed with his brothers and sister at his dads house and I kept the kids to play at my moms. People kept asking both of us where the other one was but, I guess on a trip like that we both understood our need to be with our own families. And we both left completly satisfied with the time we got to spend. My only complaint would be it was just not long enough!!! Oh yeah and Lisa boy were you right it was very HOT!!!!

UPDATE ON THE LITTLE BRO> FOR SMEE!!!

He is doing great and is just as elusive as he has ever been. I did get to see him for a little while and he (along with my brother in law) even babysat so that all of up girls could have a pedicure. He is still waiting to see if the government will clear him medically for flight school. It has been quite the fight but, I don't think he is ready to give in quite yet. He has several physicians on his side saying the likelihood of him needing to have more operations is extremely small, so I think he may make it in. In the mean time him and the misses are planing on traveling the world, they are planing a trip to Paris pretty soon, and since he gets to fly for free they are going to see everything before they have children. I think they are just the cutest things I have ever seen. His wife is adorable and just perfect for him. So in other words he is happy and healthy and doing just great.