Tuesday, March 27, 2007

What a Prince

I never remember any dates. I have to look up my families birthdays and even have to take a few minutes to remember my children's which I sometimes have to double check. I am not very good at history for that reason. However my anniversary is especially hard because we set so many dates before we finally eloped (as much as you can at the temple we scheduled the next possible date) on March 23, 2002. Well of course I did not remember and I should have WOW 5 years seems like a mile stone moment. I know those of you who have been married longer may think "wait for ten or even twenty." but for me I am so happy to have made it this far. There are so many times I can remember thinking that I could throw in the towel and just "cut my losses" before we had kids. And then after I had my first child it turned into having to "stick it out." And then of course Two more kids later we had to work it out.
I am so glad that when things got rough my hubby and I got together to work it out. I would have missed the best part of our life had I given up on him.

See I will take you back twenty years to a day that will always be a big moment in my marriage.

Before I met my husband he was a boy who was in love with his mother. A woman who in her own life was very confused. Stumbling her way through motherhood making mistakes like we all do but, judging herself much harder than anyone ever should. Trying to live up to the expectations she put upon herself and then later blamed on the church. Of course as children do my husband loved her through her faults. He did not notice that dinner was repeated week after week. Didn't care that she could not but him the best new clothes. He knew she came to his ballgames and played with him on the living room floor. What he did and still does care about is the moment she said to him "I do not want you to be with me right now" Then she turned with her bags in hand and left him behind. You see she needed to work out her own life. A goal that now is so common among young mothers. People who do not have to live in my marriage. Or in there children's.

For the first few years I know my husband was doing almost everything he could to make me say those words. Boy did we fight we could scream, and we could yell, I could cry and he could fall asleep with out ever really talking about anything at all. And until he told me about the day his mom left I did not fully understand why he did not trust any women. Once I figured that out I decided to fight for him. To change his view and to show him what a real woman should be. Not that it has been easy but now I make him sit at the table with me and work things out. I try to leave him notes in all sorts of places and I get up with him in the mornings to see him off to work. And like in Jhonny Lingo I now have a ten cow husband.
Three years later I woke up to find two bags of doughnuts on the table and a note that simply said "Happy anniversary to a woman who I know is not my mother" When he came home that night we had planned to have a pretty candlelight dinner by ourselves after the kids went to bed. And of course the baby was screaming and the two older ones were laughing and screaming in their beds. But across the chaos I looked into the eyes of the man I promised to stick out eternity with and saw A man who I know will cherish me for that whole time. There is no other gift you can give to a spouse then a love that lasts an lifetime and will go on even longer after that. I know he loves me for me. He looks at me at my worst and helps me find my way back to the best. I pull him out of the holes he digs himself into. So even if FIVE years does not seem like much I am so great full the are over and and looking forward to the next gazillions even more so that I did the day I walked out of the temple holding his hand.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Spring cleaning

I know I have not been in my new place for long but, I can't help myself. When the weather turns warm somthing happens to me. I begin to feel it when I first open the windows and see how dirty the screens are then, slowly I am totally overcome with the desire for my house to ****SPARKLE****

So here I have been for the last week Scubbing, like crazy. I love it!!! It puts me in such a good mood to see my house all organized and clean. Of course three days later it is totally undone but for those first few minutes I have a glimpse of heaven on earth. So here I sit waiting and wondering how long it will last. Every year I commit to keepingit up and mabye this year I will succed. We will see.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

The Patience Project

Robert C. Oaks gave an excellent talk a few months ago titled The Power of Patience. If you have got the time read it... http://www.lds.org/portal/site/LDSOrg/menuitem.b12f9d18fae655bb69095bd3e44916a0/?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=59df0d034ceae010VgnVCM100000176f620a____&hideNav=1
(sorry I do not know how to make the link any shorter)

For F.H.E. last night we started our family on a patience project. I made up a chart and whenever we catch each other being patient we get to put up a sticker and whenever we catch ourselves or each other being inpatient we have to put up a check. I have turned it into a race to see who gets the most stickers at the end of the day. Does that defeat the purpose??? Maybe. Oh well already today me kids are killing me I have 4 checks and no stickers but, they have three stickers each and only two check together. I guess I need this more than they do.
Oh well. I just wanted to share a good talk. See how the Patience project can work for you and let me know. Maybe we can start a revolution.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Changing it up!

I am having a life changing week. And not only is my blog page new I hope I will be new as well. I realized something about myself as I sat in Relief Society last week, I am so selfish. I knew I was, in fact when I was younger I prided myself on it. Not that I am mean or that I ignore my children or anything it is just that I focus on what I want to do or what needs to be done instead of what would be good for my family. Even when I am doing the laundry, scrubbing toilets whatever, I do it selfishly. I tell my kids to leave me alone, then when they don't I tend to get upset. So the experiment began. I was going to try my best to put them first to give myself, all of myself, to my children and husband. I got the things I needed to get done, done. But I had way more fun doing it. I let my kids into the room to help me fold the laundry. HOLY COW it went well. Then I even gave them both rags to help me clean the kitchen and THEY LOVED IT. I guess anything is fun when you do it with mom.

My attitude has been the hardest thing to alter. I don't sleep much, My baby sleeps well, but my daughter still wakes up two or even three times at night. This would usually mean I get out of bed like this...

*cries* "mommy"
***WHACK**** the covers flying off of me so the hubby knows my sorrows..
inside my brain..... "not again, when will this ever end" (oh poor poor little mommy)
***Stomping down the hallway****
"Baby what know" "Ilk mommy please"
inside my brain..... If I bring her milk her diaper is going to explode in the morning but if I don't I have to figure out how to get her back to sleep"
***Stomping down then back up the stairs***
"Here baby but I am not coming in here again you go to seep!!!!"
**Thump back in to bed so hubby really knows I have been up***

How fun was that, ... none. So this week I have even refocused on that, when she woke up on Monday night for the first time I crawled into her little bed with her and sang her back to sleep. Not only did she go right back to sleep but I got to snuggle with my little girl, who is growing way to fast, for a few minutes. And she did not have pee running down her jammies in the morning. I would like to say she slept the whole night through after that but she did not. She still woke up and we layed in bed together singing twinkle twinkle. I have come to love our late night serenades.
Even in the morning when I am trying to be good and read my scriptures it was awful, I would be trying to read when one of them would need me and I would say"please let me finish this mommy needs five minutes to herself please just go away for a little while." Of course they would come right back and It would end up with me being so angry that I would slam the book closed and not pick it up again all day. The new way is like thins I get up earlier.. Can you believe it. My husband sure can't. But there is truth to that fact that the spirit comes early in the morning. What a great way to start my day.
I am going to try to post something in the mornings most days from my morning dance with the spirit we will see what comes. I hope I keep this up I have had a pretty great week!!