Saturday, July 28, 2007

What a week and counting

If you read my kids blogs you may have seen that my little baby is cutting six teeth. Well it has not ended the poor little gut is not getting anywhere. The teeth are definitely in his gums and trying to move but they will not break through. I don't know what to do for him. He just cries and cries. Shoves his fist into his mouth and then cries some more. I have spent all week with him just holding and rocking him. He will nurse for a while and that is his most calm. At night I give him a dose of Motrin and then a hour later a dose of Tylenol just to get him to relax and sleep for a while. My heart is breaking for him. Sometimes being the mom stinks. I wish I could just take all of the pain from him.
"Being a mom is like being pecked to death by a duck" That is what my mom used to say. Now I feel like it is like being the most powerful person in the world but not being able to use it. I am so sad for him and at the same time just plain old angry and tired and weak. I know it is not his fault that he has spent the better part of three weeks crying but I am going to go insane if this does not end soon.

Thursday, July 26, 2007


Finally at 2:30 this morning I finished it..... can anyone guess what? of course it is the very last Harry Potter. I am so sad that is it over but it definitely is. As I closed the book exhausted and crying I rolled over and fell asleep kind of sad for a friend that was gone. For the past ten years we have read and then waited it was always there. I really am kind of sad that it is over.
However it ended well and I guess now I will watch the movie!!!

Friday, July 13, 2007


I married the most perfect guy in the world for me. I am so blessed to have him in my life. When I left for my trip last weekend I was so sad to go, even just overnight. I had a great time but I got a glimpse of what my mom deals with all of the time. I was having a great time but a part of me wished that I had Joe there to see it too. While I was watching all of the little girls dance at the wedding all I wanted was to see My little girl out there as well. I was so sad yet still happy. I am sure that is what my mom had felt every day for the past 23 years.

Then with all of my money headaches this week and my birthday coming up I have been kind of sad too. I knew Joe was going to ask how much he could spend on me and I would have to tell him nothing. But, he never asked. I figured he could tell I did not what a big deal made and so That was good for me, him not asking was a huge gift. However....
I woke up this morning to Joe sitting on the bed which is very odd because normally he is out the door at 5 and I don't get up that early, but there he was with breakfast ready to go. He had been to the store and bought me donuts or Eggo's, whichever I wanted and. ... he remembered that I don't like pre mixed chocolate milk so he came home with syrup. He put in to be late for work so we could have breakfast together. CUTE enough but he did not stop there. After I came back from Costco this morning I had a diet coke in the fridge and Dove ice cream bars in the freezer. You know I just love that he put time into my birthday I am having more fun today finding all of my little gifts than if we were able to get me a whole slew of really pretty presents. I love that man!!! One of our songs we played for our wedding party was are mix of "even though we ain't got money... I'm so in love with you honey" (I don't know the real title)
A part of my hopes that will not continue to be our theme forever. But It is true his little acts of kindness have made this one of the best birthdays I have ever had.

He is definitely a keeper!!!

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


Friday, July 06, 2007


I got tagged by Smee to do this one. Seven things six true one false you guess which is the lie.
I will say I am not as eloquent as Smee but here goes....
1) I once swallowed seven goldfish, peer pressure and the drive to be the best combined to give me a horrible stomach ache.
2) I love to draw but lack a talent so I display my work as my neighbors or my own child's drawings.
3) I will cut open to observe anything that was once living. I am fascinated by how it all comes together, I dream of being able to take a higher level anatomy class just to work with a cadaver
4) I love to drive, being in the car makes my mind wander sometimes to sad moments but mostly to good places
5) I love every second that I am a wife and mother
6) I am a grasshopper, thank heavens I am completely surrounded by ants who will always take care of me.
7) Part of me hates that because I want so badly to be totally self sufficient.

There you have it now you guess which is the fake!

I tricked you all, the fake is #5 I think any woman who says she is in love with her job every second is a lier. Don't get me wrong I love being a mom and a wife but EVERY Second. First of all it hurts like all heck to get them here and then they scream a whole heck of a lot and who knows what comes next. At some point they will hate me for sure. I hear there is a point where teenagers are no fun. I am only at the beginging. AND yes I did do the goldfish, at girls camp one year. YUCK!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007


I have been truly wondering about my last post for a week. I have issues with the fairness of the world. And okay I get it "Life is not fair" but I sure hope that it will at least even out with time.

Last week started with a call from my husband. A good friend of ours who he happens to work with did not come into work. So come to find out his 5 year old daughter has leukemia.

Of course I had just not two days before been on the phone with another dear friend of mine whose son just started to talk,which should be a good thing, He happens to be a twin but his sister only lived three days. So my friend is having a hard time. Every milestone in his life will hold a small degree of pain for his mother and as much as she tries to make it better that pain will always be there. I can understand that even my wedding was a sad day for me remembering the people who were not there to hold me.

All of this compounded when my mother called and my sisters husband was in the hospital with what looked like(thank heaven is turned out not to be) Congestive Heart Failure. Three weeks before this he was in a car accident and the day before she was hit from behind and it looks like both of her babies have whip lash.

So all of this compounded with my car breaking down my little girl potty training, my husband pulling a 70 hour work week and me looking to leave town soon. I think I just sort of went into a tailspin I of want to know why!!!!

Thank goodness it is over, I spent allot of last week doing what Smee and my mother advised. I prayed allot. I screamed allot I even broke some things. But in the end I know that my heavenly father can only do so much. Adam and Eve bite into the fruit and all of his control was handed back to man. We are in charge of our own lives. He has the power to stop anything and every once in while I am sure that he does but, It is not his job to make me happy. That is all up to me.
I am only as happy as I allow myself to be and whether I have a mansion or rent to pay. I can have joy in my life if I look for it. Even in times when it is hard to find.
I am so grateful for the gospel I have no idea what I did in the pre existence to be born into what I was but I sure hope I live up to it here.