Wednesday, February 28, 2007

A hero among us

I have had no idea what to write about for a while. I got kind of sick of writing about myself so...

I am going to do something a little bit different. I am going to start each morning with a thought for the day. One that will come from outside of myself. Maybe from my scripture reading in the morning, something my kids say to me when i see them first thing, or like today from a woman who I have admired from afar for a very long time.
My Aunt Jan has never been extremely present in my life. I have heard about what she has been doing, and about her children from my Grandmother and my own mother but, have never really sat down with her to talk. However her life has made an impact on mine.
She was diagnosed with breast cancer several years ago. She went through radiation and chemo loosing all of her hair and of course becoming as close to death as they let you get. I was so awed by her strength throughout the whole process. She put on a brave face, maybe not always feeling that way but, portraying it that way. I am sure she was frightened and unsure about what would come of it. However she made it through and was in remission for a long time.
Well just a few short months ago it began again. The disease that had already ravaged her body once was back and this time was not going to let her get off as easily. She lost a breast.

I can't begin to understand what that would feel like. The loss that would come with it. To me it would be like loosing a friend the thing which first made me a woman, which feed my children and kept them attached to me for a little while. I would miss it more than I think I would want people to know.

But it does not end there, she starts chemo again this week. She might loose her hair again and be taken to the edge of death. Going on more medications with more side effects than she was willing to share with her family. She will be strong again and she will survive her way through. In her own words" I feel so very blessed and I am so thankful for the atonement!" She finds comfort in the Savior. So I will to. I can bring him into my own life which has the pains that are no where near her own. I will draw strength from her faith and think about her today.

Dear lord please send your love
to guide us on this day
Bring peace that only Jesus
can send us on our way
Hide the pains and sorrows
We are feeling from our hearts
Let us walk in peace
Let you help us play our part
Send the spirits that surround us
With the love and peace we seek
Help us to feel them closer
Help me to be meek
The pains of the world are real
as fleeting as they may be
Bring me the peace of atonement
that will someday set me free.

I love you Jan I hope that you will feel the faith of your family surrounding you in this hour of trial.

Monday, February 19, 2007

Ridiculuos lawsuits

I know it is no new thing but I have to get this off of my chest. What in the world is wrong with people. I think we have gone so far off track as a society and I would like to thank the lawyers who waist all of their time and educations by representing such morons!!! In stead of fighting for the real problems in our society.
It started I am sure before the whole McDonald's coffee spill but has gotten to the point that you have to sign a waver before you can play in the snow on private land. I read an article about a man who got fired from his job for looking at porn on the company's time. And he is suing them. He claims he should be getting sympathy for his "addiction" instead of being fired. He is filing under the Americans with disabilities act. YES you read that right, he is claiming he is disabled and that stress from Vietnam turned him into a sex addict. SO yes lets all spend some more tax money to set up facilities for all of those who can't keep it in there pants!
This is going to get way out of hand.....
Soon I will be able to claim that my children are to stressful I need to be compensated for my sanity. who could I sue, the doctor who delivered them, the hospital who sent me home even though I cried a little in front of my nurse, My mother for having me in the first place, or maybe even the government for not demanding that I be screened more properly before I was able to decide to have children.I am telling you I see more and more articles every day that boast such ridiculous claims for money that I want to scream out. YOU are why we have to really search to find a set of swings on a public playground. Why all of the potential good doctors are going to law school instead of into medicine. Would you want to pay half a million dollars every year just to insure your business. The idiots in the world are why the words CAUTION THIS MIGHT BE HOT are printed on the side of a coffee cup. DUH of course it's hot, its coffee moron!! And why soon we will have to sign paperwork before we can enter a building, (what if an earthquake hits and you get trapped) buy a car (you may have an accident), watch a movie(what if you get offended), and who knows what else.
Lets hope it does not come to this. But I think time will tell it will only get worse.

Friday, February 16, 2007


I was trying to catch up in my journalling this week and I came upon a bunch of entries in a journal that I had covered in phrases. "Do not read," "burn when I die," "Please do not open." I remember this journal but, I don't know why I kept it.

To say my siblings did not get along all the time would be an understatement. We all had kind of a crazy relationship. One minute we would all be sitting playing a game and the next thing I knew everyone was in an uproar. WE COULD FIGHT! Or should I say they would fight, I would cry and then write in this journal. It was a powerful tool growing up because I hated the screaming. I did not want to be a part of it. Even though every once in while I could be a part of it with a vengeance. I would write what I wanted to scream into the notebook and then I could put it away and go on. One of my sisters was the boss and it was her job to keep all of us on top of our chores and to keep us alive. After passing out assignments she would rock in her chair for hours listing to music and singing only to come out a few minutes before mom came home to tell us what we still needed to get done. My other sister was the instigator. She knew just how to get what she wanted. She could throw a fit and kick up a whirlwind that would slow down into a calm peaceful stare. My brother was the go to guy. We loved to see what we could make him do, which in turn turned him into the "fall guy" he got into trouble for just about everything. Even if someone else did it. I wrote in this journal almost every day. We would fight almost everyday. and I would put all of my emotion into that journal. I think that is why I could just cry and not get into the fight very often.

When I look at my family today I can see how we got the way we did. Sister Number one is so controlled and organized. Her family runs on a schedule that is kept in line very closely. Her kids walk in ironed clothes and "done up" hair. They are a happy family. Number two had open heart surgery in 11th grade and she has been a different person ever since. Her family is peaceful, her house is kept clean but, not neat she has a calm that walks with her. I think she is trying to avoid an explosion. My brother has just gotten married after a few(to put it mildly) girlfriends he has been "in love" with. He wandered for a long time before settling into the swing of his life. I think because he was forced to be who we wanted him to be for so long. I have turned into a very complacent person. Finding a way to avoid any turmoil in my life. I tend to ignore problems. You can't do this as an adult. Things just go on snowballing without you looking until you find yourself surrounded in a cold place with no way of knowing what direction is up.

I think finding this journal and evaluating all of the passages has made me look at things in a new light. I wonder why my siblings and I turned out so differently but I can see why we had to fight to be who we are today, we are all happy, we all seem to find the peace in our lives. It has been a fun journey and I know we all loved each other the whole way through the ride.

I have torn the journal to shreds. The things inside were not pleasant to read They were mean and not at all true statements about three people who I have come to love very dearly. I say come to love because I think we all love our families but we have to come to love who they are individually without holding them to the same standards we hold ourselves to. Just because they came from the same house that I did does not mean they are going to be just like me. Or even that we have to have more that DNA in common. But, we love them. We support them in what they so. And we find our who they are through there own eyes. There own stories. I bet we would tell three very different versions of our childhood together.

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Finally They've done it!!!

I always said that if I ever got a ton of money I would hire someone to come every morning to cut me a grapefruit. I love grapefruit but, I hate to cut it up, it takes a lot more work than my lazy hands want to do all the time. SO someone heard my plea and the good people at Del Monte cut it up for me to eat any time I want it. I am so excited. Thank heavens for little triumphs that lift your sprits!!!

Be an M&M

So her we all are all M&M's. What a fun thing to go and do. I did leave out teh baby because I just don't know him well enough to make him an M&M but when I do get to know his "flava" I will be sure to add him in. My little girl with her crown that I am sure she was born in. My boy's big blue eyes and baseball stuff. My husbands sly smile and his hockey stick. And of course me with a phone always in my hand.
Go and see what you can make of yourself??!!!

Sunday, February 04, 2007


I had my Mother in Law here this weekend and we went out to Olympic Park in Park City. If you have not done this yet, you should.

You can see all of the events that went on during the Winter Olympics. The left picture is of the Lodge where you can eat and see the freestyle jumping. Of course when we went it was covered in snow and off to the left they have set up a tubing track where we could take our kids. Behind this is the bobsled run where for $200.00 you can ride in a bobsled ONE time.

Come to find out, people from all over the world travel here just to bobsled.

They fill up the bobsledding reservations almost every day which means that 30-40 people per day pay the price to ride in the bobsled. There is a museum zip lines and all sorts of fun things to do . If you are ever in the areal I definitely recommend checking it out.!!!
I guess it is better in the Summer time, they put wheels on the bobsled and the price for a ride goes down to $65.00 then they open some slides and other things up. I will give all of the fun details of that trip when we make it in a few months.