Tuesday, September 26, 2006


I don't know about any of you but when I get to the other side of this life. I will be sitting down for a nice long chat with the man in charge.
I have an amazing mother. A women who in all rights has been through enough, the loss of her soulmate and first child being just the tip of a huge iceberg. I am at a point in my life where I am SICK OF IT. I cannot watch her go through any more. My baby brother has had 16 brain surgeries, my sister had reconstructive heart surgery. All of this she had to deal with on her own. She did not complain, at least not much. She took her life in stride and went on with it.
Now she is in the battle of her life, having seizures most of the time for the last two years. When is enough enough!! and who decides.
I truly feel like I want to kneel down and scream. Can you do that? I want so many things for this woman who has done so much for me. But, I can't even begin to dream for her because I have no idea how she is going to feel one day to the next. How do I watch my mother like this?
What do you do when you are angry at the Lord? I mean I went through a real angry stage when I realized what I missed out on having my dad gone, but this seems to be worse because I am having to watch it from the outside in. I feel like a freind having to watch Job and not being able to do anything.
Any wisdom would be nice...

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

From Chronicler, a penny for your thoughts

Finish the thought

Never again in my life:Will I let a boy tell me who I am. I let this happen with a guy I dated once and almost missed out on the love of my life.

When I was five: I learned the proper way to eat a cracker and how to blow my nose from an East coast aunt I adore who I was living with at the time.

High school was:Not all it is cracked up to be in the movies. And it does end!!!

I will never forget: The feel of my children right after they are born, I can still feel my father on them. But, it doesn't last long enough. Maybe that is why I feel a need to never stop having kids.

I once met: Jim Carry, I was actually surprised at how sweet he was.

There's this girl I know who: Knows who she really is and lives up to it every day of her life. I hope one day I can do that. Hi Grandma!!

By noon I'm usually: Ready for bed!
Last night I: Snuggled up with my prince and watched a few episodes of The Office. We are trying to catch up for the season three premier on THURSDAY!!

Next time I go to church: I will probably spend the whole time in and out of the Jr. And senior nursery taking #1 to the bathroom and #2 back in from crying.

What worries me most is: That I will not live up to who I was before I came to the earth.

When I turn my head left, I see: The bathroom and my daughter sitting at my feet.

When I turn me head right, I see: My bed, did a mention we are living at my moms in one room all together. (I know fun huh)

You know I am lying when: I laugh through the whole story

If I were a character written by Shakespeare I'd be: Shakespeare wouldn't write me but if you said Dr. Suess we might be closer.

By this time next year I'll be: A mom again in a new town, hopefully still in love with the town we fell in love with while just there for the weekend

A better name for me would be: No other name. My dad came bursting into the hospital room two days after I was born shouting my name, He named me! No other name would fit.

I have a hard time understanding: What my life would have been if only I could change one day.

If I ever go back to school: I will try harder

You know I like you if: You like me

Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferarro are: 4 people who I honestly don;t know much about.

Take my advice, NEVER: Eat something you can't pronounce.

My ideal breakfast is: Dell taco tacos

A song I love but do not have is: Anything my dad sang, I would do anything to hear him sing "Rock in roll lullaby" to my kids, I know I don't sing the right tune.

If you visit my hometown, I suggest: You come see me, I am heading back to where I was born.

Why won't anyone: Realize that everyone in the world with very few exceptions is only doing what they truly feel is right.

If you spend the night at my house do: keep me up late talking all about yourself, I really want to know!

The world could do without: Contention, I do not know how but it would sure be nice.

I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: watch my kids be taken from me

My favorite blonde is: This is something I would share with dad. My mom

Paperclips are more useful than: A lot of things

San Diego means: Wishing under the rainbow bridge

For some reason doing that brought back alot of my dad, mabye because he has been on my mind lately, I don't know but thank you for putting it up it was alot of fun.

Sunday, September 10, 2006


Tanner Michael DeMille Born september 11th 2001.
As I sat in a dorm room 200 miles away watching the horror on the TV unfold my Dear sister sat in her hospital room bringing her first baby boy into the world. I can hardly believe he is FIVE years old.
I remember that day like it was yesterday, I was sleeping in on my only day off from classes when a knock on my door woke me up. Laurel, my friend from down the hall was at my door. "We are under attack," she ran past me and to my TV it was then that I saw the Tower burning.
Not ten minutes later my phone rang. My mom said "your sister had her baby, he is healthy and happy and mom is doing good, but we haven't told her what has happened." As our conversation went on I was told not to come home until we knew what was happening.
Classes were canceled, No work, No family, All I did was sit all day long and watch as the 2nd building was hit then the pentagon and the crash in PA, just minutes from Laurels hometown.
I was the only room around with a TV so 15 or 20 really just sat there all day long stopping only every once in a while to pray.
But as life is taken life is given. Tanner was precious when I did get to go and see him a few days later. He does not yet understand that every major birthday he has will be marked as well with the remembrance of that day. I for sure am so glad he is the ray of Sunshine God gave to our family on that tragic day. HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANNER DEAR!!!!

Friday, September 08, 2006

Out of the trick or treat loop

This is my family last year on Halloween. I uaually make my kids costumes. But this year we are living with my mom before making a big move so I do not have a sewing machine, nor do I want to make myself anymore of a nusance than we are now. So, I have decided to buy this year. WHEN DID HALLOWEEN TURN INTO AN INVESTMENT!?! I am looking for costumes and am going to end up spending at least $50.00 for my son. I would never have asked him what he wanted to be if I had known I would be dipping into his college money to get him there. By the way he wants to be Tow Mater from cars, not an outift you can get second hand. Of course people are saying "what is the big deal, fifty dollars is not that bad."... WHAT!!! Hallaluah my daughter can't complian when she ends up going as a ballerina because I already have all of the stuff . I know all of you are saying why in the world is this such a deal, it just so happens that #1's birthday is Halloween, so he thinks the whole world dresses up to give him candy for his birthday. Great for a party, not so great for this years costume. Oh well if anyone out there wants a partially used tow mater costume the day after Halloween let me know it's yours for the low low price of $75.00, I have uped the price as a headache fee.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Who I am

Hello to the world. I have been a secret admire of many a blogs for the past year or so, waiting and watching, wondering if I had the creativity or in other words, if anyone would care, to write my own blog. So here I go, still not knowing if I will be interesting but jumping in all the same.
As I say I am the pea. I truly am surrounded by many princesses, two sisters, one mother, many more aunts, grandma's, cousins, and friends who are what I would call truly refined ladies, who know who they are. I am so very greatfull for this but I must admit I am destined to be forever flawed. I don't eat, sleep, clean, or dress like a lady should most of the time. (I do like to dress so I have my elegant moments, untill I trip and fall down the stairs) The ladies in my life teach me what I want to be. I have goals to be refined but I am sure it will take a lifetime of do-overs to achieve my goal.
My latest princess is a sweet daughter, child #2 who came to earth with a crown on her head. She thinks she rules the world, and in most accounts she does. Poeple stop when she waves to them and tell her she is addorable, and this only intensifies the problem.
My Princes are wonderfull as well, a strong willed prince in the shape of a mud covered little boy, (#1) and Prince charming, My very sweet husband who cateres to me when dinner is burned and clothes are not ironed becuase I have spent all day playing instead of taking care of, the other stuff, as I like to call it. And I have a brother who could have been ruined by his sisters but in all accounts came out of his estrogen bubble mostly unscathed.
I have two more princes who I only know by stories of charm and wit but who in most accounts were men of fun, like me. My older brother and my Father who had to serve a better part and leave this earth while I was still very young. They have watched over and protected me my whole life and I have been able to think of them as the perfect people they are.
I love to do anything fun, I like to cook but not clean, sleep but not make the bed, dress but not iron or wash the clothes. I am a student of anything I don't know I read my biology books in my spare time and then follow that with a good Jodi Picoult novel. Someday in the future I want to be a Certified Nurse midwife as I am most fascinatedby pregnancy and childbirth it amazes me what can happen inside of a women in 40 weeks time. I do many crafts though I have never been taught so I sew in my own way that my grandmother would cringe at if she ever watched. I also love Disney and Dr. Suess. I am a student of the gosple I would love to know the scriptures inside and out Someday, mabye in the next life.
So , that is me in a nutshell, or should I say a pod.