Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Tragedy again

I woke up today after a long and restless night spent dreaming of worried and petrified parents and students across the country. Also spent waking every few hours to check on my own sleeping and peaceful little ones. Who know nothing far from their own sheltered reality here with me. My heart goes out to all of those parents who had to muster the courage to send their children off today. And to those who did not have the strength within them to do so, who instead chose to spend the day pretending, if only for a little while, that they could protect all of the people they love.

The news channels are asking all of the same questions. What drives a person to do this?, How can we be more careful?, Did the authorities do all that they could have done?. When the reality is All of that today does not matter to so many who lost loved ones so dear to them.

Our world has shifted again.

I sat in school Not too many years ago and heard about two boys who took a gun to school and started shooting, then I went off to college and One morning got a knock on my door only to find my good friend in tears saying "The country is under attack", believe it or not that same friend told me yesterday of a shooting not too far from where she lives now in Virginia.

So many places and dates dot my life now It is hard for me to remember what I did at Senior prom but ask me about nine eleven, columbine, the Amish, trolley square, Emily Hayes, Abu Grahab, Snipers along the east coast, so many more... And I can recall what my life was like when those names became etched in my brain.

How grateful I am that I can look to my Heavenly Father, that I can turn my life over to him for guidance, direction, and today most of all comfort and strength. Who knows where the next tragedy will hit, what we know is that it will happen again that is for sure. We also the know...

The Lord is my Shepperd I shall not faint, yea though I walk through the valley of death I shall fear no evil.

Therefore continue your journey and let you heart rejoice for behold and lo I am with you even unto the end. Joshua 1:9

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


Lisa posed a challenge to all who read her blog and I would love to respond to the moments in my life. I think I have few that might be worth sharing with you all.

The first one I can think of is when I first remember really knowing that I had a testimony of the gosple. I had been through some pretty horrible times at then end of high school . When I was about seventeen, I was sruggling with knowing my worth as a person. I had a boyfriend who was very abusive towards me, and made me feel very small. I had been through some rough times within my family as well, and then I ran away to school and was having a hard time being on my own. I went in to see the bishop only because I had a sweet roomate who thought it would help and forced me to go. After several sessions with him he challenged me to read the book of Mormon and to try to get to the temple as much as I could. He set up baptisms and sent some one to ride with me on a pretty regular basis It took me about two months and some real soul searching but when I finished the Book I got a blessing and the bishop and I fasted together. I won't go into much more detail but I know that I am a daughter of God and that I have a heavenly Father who loves me. And I have always known that. I did not need to look far to know that this was true. I can remember that precious moment And I always will.

Then not many years later I was made a mother and the overhwelming responsiblility of that hit me hard as a rock coming straight from heaven and landing flat on my head. Moment again. I wondered how I would get this child through life, how could the Lord intrust me with such a special little spirit. But he did and I would do just that. I could guide his child through this life as long as I stayed right there with my husband on one side and the Lord on the other.

I think those moments have cemented my soul in a firm foundation of faith one that I know I will never stray from even if I struggle day to day. I know where I came from and where I am heading. And I am more greatfull for that the any other thing on this planet beacuse, by no other way can we be happy and find true joy than by the knowlendge that we are children of a heavenly father who loves us. It makes every descision not just worth making but worth making right.

Thank you Lisa what a great challenge.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

My blog is suffering

I took on a littleboy to watch 10 hours a day five days a week!!!! What was I thinking? Not that my day is any harder he really is fine but I feel I have no free time anymore. I was able to do alot more when I was with just my own kids. You can shower in the middle of the day with just your kids, you can plop them in front of the T.V. for a while when the need arrises and not feel to guilty, but with him here I feel more guilt about stuff like that. So if it seems like I am not around a whole lot I am not. Time really does fly and so do the days latley. But I wanted to post a little note to say I miss the blogging world and hope to figure out a new rutine soon.