Monday, December 21, 2009

My Dearest Abigail

Yes, my darling!!! You are stinking cute however, We have got to come to some kind of an arrangement. You came into my life and five minutes later you nursed for almost and hour. Did I let the nurses take you? No, I let you have you fill and then they took you away and cleaned you up. When you came back to me you climbed right up to where you were camped out and had full blown milk in TEN (count them people) TEN hours. I know my love, You and I both have loved every minute of our time together. You have been wrapping your one little arm around my back, placing your other hand on my chest and staring into my eyes for thirteen months now. I have loved being forced to sit with you and feed you for the last year of my life. When I first became a mom I fell in love with breastfeeding. Your Aunts can attest to the fact that I love nursing, and maybe I talk about it too much but I do love it. I highly recommend it to all new mothers. I even took a hit from your doctor at our last visit. We had quite the discussion about you never having had any other form of fluids. I placed my well planned out arguments for breastfeeding in front of the doctor (yes for those of you I am sharing this letter with, I did have a discussion with a well educated physician about my  daughter getting the best form of food for her growing body. I actually used the phrase.. "Did you just check your bedside manner at the door!!! Don't you think there is a reason she has also never had an antibiotic in her body.") And you grinned the whole time. And then we went home and you nursed and went down for a nap! 
Now to our arrangement, You need to start going to bed and staying there. We are going to have to ween you someday but, I will continue (for a little while) as long as we figure out a way for you to sleep. That means, I think, we will no longer nurse to sleep! I am sorry to see this go but I think we will survive. And maybe it will keep you from crashing at six in the afternoon and then staying up till midnight.  

Dang girl I love you and hate to see this come to a slower pace. You are the light of my life, the joy to my soul. And I will love that you and I have hung on to nursing for this long, none of your siblings were able to. And you my darling, have decided to keep me a "baby" mommy for a while longer. It has made the transition from being a baby machine to a mom with growing kids easier. Thank you for walking later and nursing longer. I let myself believe you can feel my mourning and are helping through the heartache that never being a "new" mother again is bringing. You snuggle me while I sob and I think we will be bonded a little bit tighter for it. 
Thank you for your soul. You truly have completed our family and I cannot wait to see how you grow up. 
Love, Mommy

P.S. To all the naysayers out there (Dr. Lei) If she feels a need to take my boob to college then I will hear your arguments 

4 comments:

Cristen said...

You crack me up! I am so sorry she is your last, enjoy it I say!!! I love you your are the best mom I know, well other than ours!!

Unknown said...

bravo! I'd love to hear that conversation with the doctor. I just don't have the guts to insert my thoughts into our pediatric discussions. I guess I just think there's no point - they won't agree with me! Anyhow, you're an inspiration! Good luck Mommy! Good luck Abigail!

The Pea said...

Oh Tara I did not put it into the story but I went off of how many communicable diseases are found inside of our milk products not to mention the hormones they pump into those animals to force them to produce. No wonder or girls and boys are developing prematurely and having so many developmental problem they are ingesting steroids every day in their breakfast cereal! I got very graphic and he did not have any facts. I am sure I did not change his mind but I think he will think twice before saying anything to me again.

Trent & Lindz said...

Good for you! You're such a good mommmy. And I have to say that I have been loving the bonding experince that nursing Luke has given us. I never thought I would love it as much as I do. I hope you are able to savor every minute you have with her!