Tuesday, August 28, 2007

My Mother



I am going to preface this post with a warning this took a long time to write it was so good for me to get it all down and I am glad for the experience it was writing it. It is long and I apologize for that.


While I was reading comments about my last post I realized something. I blog a lot about my Dad and not so much about my mother Who is Amazing (I mean the best guy in the world married her so she would have to be something Right!) So I will tell you her story, the way that I saw it.


She was born to the most amazing parents, really two people who apart Had their many flaws but together were pretty close to perfect. She was brought up with 8 sisters and 1 brother. She could tell you the most wonderful stories about her life. But the one story that sticks out most in my mind is that while the whole family was crammed into a small car on a trip to Idaho the car rolled several times and landed on it's top, my Mother, the eternal optimist, was very certain that if they all just got out they could flip the car over and be merrily on their way. Of course that was not the case they had to wait together for a ride home. She will also tell you that the only time they would eat out would be for stake conference, once a year they would go to Mc Donalds between the meetings and they would be allowed to order whatever they wanted. She adds "I always got a chocolate shake." She grew up in that happy place and went on to have a great life. She married my father in the Los Angelas temple and soon after that they were at BYU with 5 very young children. They worked hard. They loved each other more than two people should be allowed to. He would leave her notes on the fridge and she would climb into his arms after he was asleep at night. But through all those years they were happy.

Then one day after they left BYU and were back in Hemet Ca. My father and my oldest brother got into the car and never came home. The night before my brother Michael had begged my mom to got o the store with her. She never took the kids and she said no. He asked again with leading in his voice. (He was very obedient and would never ask twice) So she said yes and took him with her. They had a conversation that night where he told her that he was not afraid to die, he just did not want to go to heaven alone. So of course being such a great father my Dad went with him The very next day. My mom waited by the window for hours before an uncle of mine came with the bishop to tell her the news. To this day if you are five minutes late she is already in a rough state!! A trait I am afraid she has passed on to her children.

She came through that year a scarred woman And in an act of utter craziness married a complete jerk who took all of her money pretty quickly. ( we don't talk about that mistake much so I am going to move on) We all soon moved to Las Vegas where my mom had a good job, she still works there today 17 years later. We moved around quite a bit most every other year in fact.

I have a little brother who always seemed to miss school. He would complain of headaches for years before they found out that he a a cyst on his brain that would have to be removed. So of to Primary Children's hospital they went, leaving me and my sisters to my Grandmothers care. I turns out hey could not remove his cyst only shunt it. They said he may require a few more operations while he was growing but he should live a fairly normal life. Normal life to him turned out to be trips between the hospital, a few good months, than another trip to the O.R. I am sure he has had at least 13 operations on his head.

While going through all of this I have a sister who we were all quite certain was manic depressive, and after the medication failed her the doctors finally discovered a hole in her heart that would need to be repaired. So during her Senior year of high school she recovered form having her chest split open and her heart sewn up. She however is still recovering from years of Depressive medication she never needed. But the good new was she got to redo her Senior year this time with me.

Through all of this I am sure my mother suffered and cried much more than I will ever know. However if you ask her she will tell you that her trials were all visible, She is grateful for the blessing of not having to ever struggle with her testimony and faith. She knows that she will be a mother to my older brother again, and that she will be my fathers wife for all of eternity. I love her so much, not just for what she has been through but for the woman she has taught me to be in spite of all of her struggles.

Now whenever one of us has a baby we make sure she is the first to hold them, because more so than I need to she needs to feel the arms that released them. She loves to feel the arms and breath of my father on their new skin.

7 comments:

chronicler said...

Okay, you made me cry. This is a wonderful post and tribute to your mom. She is the sweetest of them all, and way underestimated by them, in my opinion. I can hardly wait to see the two of them reunited. Talk about Heaven. They were a positive influence on everyone they spent time with, and left such a gaping hole in the universe when it was parted.

Your mom has more strength than anyone I know. She gets up each day and puts one foot in front of the other for everyone else. Heck, it sounds like I think she should be sainted. Because I do.

Bri said...

Ok, you made me cry too! I love your mom and my aunt. I always missed you guys though growing up. I loved every minute I got to spend with the family. Your mom is truly one of the greatest ladies I know. This is a great post, thank you for writing about the family, and I always remember the story about Michael telling your mom he didn't want to go alone, and that how great of a spirit he has. It shows what great parents you have.

s'mee said...

geeze louis people! (sniff)

o.k. Miss Pea. It's crazy, but whenever I think of your mom I think of her first as the neighbor girl. The pretty, skinny girl with the warm shy smile and short blonde har, so different than the other girls in her house. She is wearing long shorts and a striped t-shirt that is way too big for her tiny frame.

Then I think of her as my brother's wife. The woman who spun him on his heels, loved him completely and changed his life from bad to good.

Your mom *is* amazing. She has endured more than anyone I know or anyone I have read about. I have, several times, referred to her life when folks say that the pioneers had more trials than anyone we know now. Not so much, your mom beats all. And with humility an grace, forgiveness and acceptance. She is still the shy smiling woman of the family, the prettiest of them all in my opinion, and the one who truly knows what love and this life is all about.

And if I can place my bests, I would add that her youngest daughter has become the perfect blend of both mom and dad...good on you Pea.

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