My computer is back on line but, I now feel like I have nothing to say. I am just not sure what to do. So I guess I will just start typing and see what comes of it.
Life is sometimes hard and some days I feel as if I am just bobbing up and down in the water that rages all around me. We have tough days and more often than not we have hard months and months. Where the whole world feels as if it could come tumbling down at any moment and it would still feel better than trying to breathe for one more minute. Thanks heavens I have a steel cage that surrounds me and my family all the time.
Even when I don't feel like there is any more sun in my life. I get to wake up in the morning and have a reason to struggle to breathe. My little babies and my big red man make every day worth living even when I don't know if a can. Abby smiles up at me and laughs when she hears her fathers voice come into the room. Michael wants to sit up and read with me until he falls asleep. Ora wants to take "mommy" lessons all of the time. And, Jordan tells me only about a hundred times a day how much he loves me. Joe, the man who keeps us all together. He would go to hell and back just to make me smile. I get to be with the man of my dreams all the time. And that is worth more than any hell we have to go through together to get to eternity as a whole family.
We fight every day to achieve that goal. To be together forever. THAT is what matters. The end game, where we all get to sit in our heaven together, our temple covenants holding us together for all of eternity. I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have, the power it gives me to reach that goal. The most important thing we do in this life is not what happens in this life at all. The most important thing we do will come in the next stage. Where no money can bring happiness and no joy is more important the joy of our families going on into eternity.
I can hang on, even when the cliff is crumbing around my aching fingers as long as I am clinging to the most important things in my life. My family and the gospel of Jesus Christ that binds us together.