Sunday, May 25, 2008

Everything changes

Shinboo reminded me that today is "the day" it is the day my life changed forever. My father and brother were taken home to be with their Father in Heaven again. I was two years old. I wish I could say that I have not ever been angry about it like my sister. But I have been, in fact I have screamed at my Heavenly Father at times. I feel screwed actually. You see I am my Father's daughter, he was my match. I know he and I would have been like two peas in a pod. With him I would have really fit in. Don't get me wrong I have an amazing woman as a mother. I look up to her and love her more than she will ever know. My sisters are great and my brother is a great man. But, my mom(and all of my family) is beautiful, graceful, sweet,organized, clean (I mean freakishly clean) and all of those other things that makes up a woman of God. I, on the other hand am clumsy, and not very neat, I tend to play too much,laugh too much, I will admit I am down right funny. I am my Fathers daughter. He was hysterical in fact I have heard he could take a plain piece of paper and have you in hysterics in no time. 


It was not until I was older that I realized how much I needed him and how much he was there for me. Looking back I know he stood by me as I danced and every time I stood on stage he was in the front row cheering. He was the one who shoved me to St. George when I could not take another minute in Las Vegas and was the one who brought me back home to fall in love with my Dear sweet husband. He stood by me in the temple and watched as I changed from his girl to Joe's. He has watched over and protected me every step of the way. I know when I can't take another second of being up with screaming babies he is the one who comes and sings my kids to sleep. I miss him more every day, He will always be my rock. I love him so much and can't wait to make some real memories in the eternities with him. 

My brother was there as well a perfect seven year old boy. I mean it perfect, my mom puts it as "He just did not understand disobedience" I think I could have learned a ton from him. I bet he would have kept us all from doing all of the fighting we did. I think he would have been the guy who took all of the pain on him and let you get away with it. I know I have a great big brother waiting for me. I wish I had more stories, more memories (any memories really) I wish I could look into heaven for just a little while to get to know him. I bet he is a great guy. He started out great. In fact the night before he died he told my mother he was not afraid to die he just did not want to do it alone. I wonder what great plan was in store for him, I wonder how my Dad helped him fulfill it. I can't wait to find out.  

So heres a few tears for two wonderful men who left my life and a few of your as well too soon! I am so thankful my parents went to the temple and were sealed together for all of eternity. I am so thankful I know that I will see them again. I will spend eternity making better memories than I  could make now. How great is the gospel of Jesus Christ and how lucky I am to be a part of it. 

8 comments:

Bri said...

I can't believe today is the day, It has been so long. I too miss both of them, and look forward to making memories with them, and getting to know them. I always knew that they were always there watching over everyone in the family. Thank you for the reminder and the thoughts. I love you guys, and know that my thoughts are with you today.

Alison Wonderland said...

Um wow.

Trent and Lindz said...

That was so beautiful Erin! My mom says I probably said Hello to them both on my way down to earth when they were returning home.I never knew them in this earthly life but I am aslo excited to make memories in the eternities with them. Thank you for that. That was wonderful!

chronicler said...

Boy oh boy you really know how to make me cry! I know you guys are going to be the best of friends! And yes, he lit up any room he was in, just like you!

A memory of mine about your brother. We went to sac meeting with your family one time. (it may have been on the day you were blessed in fact) While most of us just sat quietly after the sac hymn, I looked over at your brother and he had tears rolling down his face. He told me he felt what Jesus felt and it made him so sad. I was stunned. He was only 4 and understood it all. He was a blessing for everyone who knew him too.

Thank you for writing this post. Memorial day is definitely full of memories for us.

S'mee said...

I have no words for this post, except, I love you. I love you a lot.

1stdaughter said...

I know I am a little late in coming, but I had to say thank you for sharing. I remember your brother vividly and yes, he was one of those kids you just can't forget, even being older than me I still remember.

I will never forget that day and how it affected my mom. But what I look forward to more than the memory of two incredible people is the reunion we will all have.

Lisa M. said...

This post made me cry.

How touching.

I'm so sorry for the void you have had in your life,and so happy as well for the sweet and precious memories and impressions you also have.

I'm so sorry P.

I miss my Dad so much it is a physical ache. We were two peas in a pod, and I was indeed a Daddy's girl.

*very big hug*

I appreciate your boldness in expression.

Eternal promises are an incredible-I can't imagine this life, with out the promise, of the next.

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