My baby is 5 today

This picture was taken when he was 16 months old and I still love it today! I cannot believe he is five years old. When he was born the first thing I said when I saw him was "Man he is old" I know he has been waiting for a very long time to take his turn on earth. I knew it from the moment I first looked at him. I could feel his soul, so much older than mine staring straight through me. My mom and I both looked at each other and said man, he is going to be a challenge. He has been. He hated being a baby! I have never seen such and angry baby as he was. I think he just could not handle the lack of control he felt inside that new body he did not understand. He cried from the day he was born until the day he walked at 8 months old. And I am not kidding if he was not eating, and even then not always he was not happy. In fact one day I turned on the vacuum and just let it run so he would calm down. I must have just passed out completely Because I woke up (who know how much later) to my vacuum on fire in the middle of the living room. And once I got it out he woke up and screamed some more. The first time he slept for more than 45 minutes was when he was 6 months old. He fell asleep in my favorite chair while I was cleaning up his room. I left him there, again fell asleep on the couch and woke up 3 hours later sure he was dead. I ran as fast as I could to his room and there he was still asleep he slept another 3 hours and did not do it agin till he was 9 months old, when he finally slept all night. Again I thought he was dead for sure. 

Today he is five and still a challenge every day. He has taught himself how to read and now has to stop and read everything. He sucks up knowledge like you would not believe, in fact he came up to me yesterday and told me how he learned the vowels on Seaseme street. One episode and he knows them all and that "if two vowels go a walking the first one does the talking" I am sure I knew that rule but, he taught it to me. 

I know for a fact he will some day soon invent a "machine" (as he calls it) that will clean his room for him. He will get a microscope and a telescope and "his life will be perfect." What five year old wants to cut bug in half and put them under a microscope? He does not buy, the Santa Clause thing and I am sure he will tell his friends all about how we just pretend for fun. Because he learned no one can live in the north pole. (this is getting long)

I will end with, how much I love this kid! I tell him everyday how glad I am he was my first baby, And I really am. No other person could have prepared me for him. He is so special, he loves his sister and brother, and swears he will learn to love Abby, as soon as he gets to meet her. But "Jordan will be her best friend" He is absolutely fabulous! The best Biggest kid a family could ask for. 

Happy Birthday BUG!!! I love you!!!

Not only are the streets no longer safe

Look out for our craziest driver in the skies.......

Since I was little my younger brother would stop everything he was doing when an airplane flew over head. He would say to all of us, Oh it's a Delta, or Southwest, or Hawaiian.. We did not care but boy oh boy did he. He plastered his walls in pictures of air force planes. He took everything he could find apart so that he could learn how it worked. he built and unbuilt all of his cars. And he did all of this while in and out of twenty + brain and abdominal surgeries. He practically spent all his time at primary children's hospital or in bed with headaches you could never imagine. In fact, the time he spent in the hospital were good for him because he got to get away from the headaches for a little while.  He got discouraged as much as any other kids would but for the most part he held his head high and showed off his scares with pride. Even after he was sent home from his mission to endure yet another surgery, he stayed strong. But during that surgery he was given an anti Seizure medication "just in case" he never had a seizure. 

Last year he and his wife moved to Florida to pursue his dream, to be a pilot, the air force was out of the question but a commercial pilot was with in reach. So he packed up his brand new wife and moved across the country. When he went to apply he expected to be accepted right away just to be turned down. Not from having his hacked into twenty times but, from the anti seizure meds. He fought to prove he had never had a seizure, but the road was long and the pressure to just give up and do something else was great. I even said to him more than once. "Go to school while you are doing this, then if it doesn't work out you will be ready." He did finally decide he would do just that and started a few months ago to get ready to get his paramedic licence. Then yesterday I got a phone call... HE GOT APPROVAL!! 

To a boy who never gave up to a man who knew what he wanted and GOT it!! I love you so very much and could not be more proud of you. You will be great at this, you are awesome!! 

The invisible woman! AKA mom

PHEW!!!

Thank you to everyone who sweated this out with me today! I just heard from Joe and at least for now things look good for him. No one in our area was laid off. But 98 other people in Las Vegas, Pheonix, and California were not so lucky. My heart aches for them and for all of the other people all over the country who are afraid. We are not out of the woods, there is still a long way to go before the whole country comes out of this "dip" or whatever they are calling it. And the construction industry is really hurting. I don't feel 100% safe, and how sad is that. I have a husband who goes to work everyday and works hard for a company he has been with for 6 years and I still am worried that we could loose everything in the blink of an eye. 

How fast things can change! I really do feel so sad for all of the people in this country who are not as lucky as I was today. Here in Salt Lake the homeless shelters are filled and overflowing, I know the people in them are families who are just like mine. Good, hard working, regular folks who have had to suffer from this downward spiral WE are ALL on. Weather we feel it or not we are all sliding down. 

I hope we can all come together and make better decisions for our futures. Once again I am drawn to the gospel even more, how blessed I am to know that I have a family who I know would come through for me. I have a husband who would work ten jobs and go with no sleep to support this family, and if he really could fin nothing.. I could go and live with any of them and they would take me in and help us for as long as they could. How blessed I am to know that as I cling to the core of the gospel I will be taken care of always. We will be okay even if we have to go to a shelter or live in a box, we will still read our scriptures and say our prayers and teach our children that the Lord will take care of us. We would pay our tithing on the pennies we found in the gutter if we had to. I know this would never happen but, I do know it is what I would do. How grateful I am that I do know that!! I know as long as I know this anything can be overcome and be made for my good!

Once again thank you to everyone who said prayers for my family today I know this has opened my eyes to see that I need to be praying for all those out there who are not as lucky as I was today!

What Economy??

It came down today! Sunstate the, company Joe works for, will be joining the ranks of so many others. Today begins layoffs and then the canceling of all Christmas parties and retreats planned for the near future. 

I have no idea what this will mean for our family. We have been doing so much better with our money lately but are no where near ready for Joe to be out of work. It looks good for him, He has been with his job for 6 years, he does the best job of any of the driver here. He knows the rules, has never had a ticket, accident, or complaint against him.  Which for a guy who drives all day every day says a ton. I am hoping the company will overlook the fact that he is the highest paid and realize he is the best guy to keep around. I guess we shall see. I can honestly say I have never been so worried than I am right now. I know we will survive, we have and will continue to survive. 

What is so funny about this is that it still does not make me want to vote. I have (seriously for the first time in my life) no clear choice to make. I do not believe for a second that anyone who gets this job will be able to turn things around before it gets far worse for everyone.  

But, at least I have one more reason to hold strong to the core values of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I believe we are guided by a true and loving Father in Heaven, he has warned all of us that this was coming. And he has helped us know how to prepare to overcome when it does come our way. Please say a little prayer for me and my Joe, yes he does not  love his job, but we need him to keep it.

GRANDPARENTS>>>

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Ora was tagged by her Aunt!

Everything you ever wanted to know about Ora Dawn Short....

Name and meaning: My first daughter has been Ora Dawn since I was like 12 or something. My Grandparents on my moms side are Ora and Donald Latimer and they are my rock! The day I figured I could turn both there names into one it was set. Truly anyone who has every met these two know how extremely special they are. Grandpa worked harder than anyone I know to raise his family and Grandma did as well. Together they had 9 daughters and a son. They brought these kids up to be the best they could be. When they were done raising there own children and enjoying the joy of grand parenthood tragedy struck. My mom lost her husband and oldest son to a car accident. Needless to say... THEY STEPPED UP BIG TIME. While my mom had to go back to work Grandma was there. When we moved to Las Vegas they followed shortly behind and were never very far away. Days I was sick were spent on grandmas couch eating all kinds of get well food. And I will admit I had grandpa's hibobolobous a few times just to eat! For about a year and a half Grandpa and I used to walk and talk early in the morning. He would tell me stories all about him and his life. I got to know and love him even more. 

I will make what is already a long story a little less long and say I was worried this name would be taken long ago I have almost 100 cousins and was sure someone else had figured this out by now. But she was a girl and the name was pegged down. It was mine. I went to grandma's house and told her the news "Don't do that, I just do not like my name" I could have burst into tears. I did not want to go against Grandma but I really wanted the name. So Grandma and I agreed she could be Lora Dawn. She was born and named and beautiful. Then about a month later we went to bless her and my husband spent the whole morning in dread! He did not want to offend Grandma but he just could not bring himself to name her Lora, when she is clearly Ora. 

So there you have Ora Dawn Short. If translated to Latin Ora - to pray, Dawn- the morning So She is to say :: a short prayer in the morning!

Age: 3 years 9 months

Nicknames : Dad calls her Donald, I call her Ora, Jordan calls her Ra, She titles herself Queen!

Favorite activities: Singing time with the family, Ballet time with mom, Painting, Dress up, Nail polish (is this really my child) make up, Hair do's... Seeing a pattern. She has taught me how to be a girly girl on a whole new level.

Favorite Foods: Salad!! She had this for breakfast yesterday *GROSS*, soup, carrots, celery, candy. cold I mean COLD , or Hot I mean HOT water.

Least favorite foods: The only thing she has ever turned down is tomatoes.

Favorite music: Her song is "I always have to steal my kisses from you" Smee gave me this on a CD I have no idea who sings it. She loves anything she can groove to. And of course songs from the LDS Children's songbook.

Favorite toys: Pony's, Dress up's. 

Favorite Books: How the Grinch stole Christmas, I love Ballet.

Favorite item of clothing: Anything with princesses on it. Anything pink. 

What makes her happy: 1.When my brothers be nice I love it. Daddy when we wash the dishes. 3. When you(mom) make popcorn I  happy a long time.

What makes her sad: When Michael do a bad thing I am sad. When Jordan Bite me. 

I tag Smee (your oldest boy,) if you want, I know you treasure your privacy! Rachel, on Rachel!!

The 1st daughter's Jace

Funny Kids

About a year ago my husband and I decided that we would no longer have any T.V. (except for church movies) on Sunday as a way to be more reverent. So most Sunday's involve some sort of sing song. We pull out the children's songbook and sing. But, today Jordan was a little (okay allot) grumpy so I started by doing "wheels on he bus" and we progressed from there. We sang every wiggle song you ever learned in primary.  I taught him the Alligator song and he went nuts, we sang it like ten times before I decided we needed to get it on video. Then of course it went on again from there! Everyone had to have there own song on a video. And I have put them all up here.

I had to do it. Mostly for grandparents to be able to see. So for those of you who do not have the patience to see my kids singing for the next five minutes skip this post. It will not hurt my feelings at all.  But, if you do watch remember this was totally spur of the moment my kids are as they are. No dressing up for the camera. They are proof of this in the second video when you get a booger eat a diaper grab and a butt pick all in one video.

Getting DONE!!

I swear the last bit of being pregnant is the worst. I have been so done for a while lately and I am trying to stay positive and just enjoy the process this time. But then I thought I need you guys to keep me sane. I am such a bad mom when I am pregnant. Not because I am mean or anything to my kids but, because I cannot do anything with them. it seems like the minute I get pregnant I throw up and then do not stop for ten months. 

This time I have been able to stay off of some of the horrific medication that I have been on in the past. A few I.V.'s some meds, but suffering through is what I have chosen to do instead. And I have done it. I am proud that I have done it. With the help of my wonderful husband we have come through this and even have managed to gain a little weight! (which in itself is a huge blessing) I have been taken care of by my man in a way that has brought us so close. I thought I could not love him more but, with each day he shows me how much more love my heart is capable of. He really has brought me through this. 

I don't want anyone to think I am not grateful.. I am!! I truly am! 

BUT.... I am so DONE! I don't know if I can survive even one more day of my kids not having the mom they deserve. I can't play with them, I can not bathe them, we can't do all of the things they are used to doing with me. I miss them so much and I know they miss me. If I have to say "Mommy just can't today" and hear "because you sick with a baby in your belly" I swear I will not stop crying until I deliver. Even as I type this Ora is crying in the background because she wants Daddy and mommy can do nothing to make her feel better. 

So heres what I need from you all! If I ever say that I am baby hungry again, and am thinking of having another one, please help me remember why I Can't!! There is just no way I can do this to my family again. I have prayed and prayed and I know we are done, I know this now, in the throws of all of this but I am worried that in a year that I will think "hey it wasn't that bad."  But I am letting all of you know, Yes, it was that bad. My kids have suffered, my husband has suffered, and I am sure my body suffers. And there is just no way I can do this again, Michael will remember this one. In a year he starts school and how would I get him there if I can't drive. How could I help him with his homework. I couldn't! So please if you ever here me say "I think I could do it again" You say "Yes, Erin you could. Your kids could not! You have four babies to take care of now. They do not deserve to loose there mother even for just 10 months. "

Thanks for letting me share everyone. 

New blog!!!

FRUGAL IS FABULOUS!!!!

I happened upon a new blog yesterday and I have just got to share. This girl has shared her love of coupons and frugal shopping with all of us. She is inspiring and so very helpful. I strongly suggest you go and check it out.  The link is on the side of my page. 

Anyone who knows me knows how stinkin cheap I am. I never pay full price for anything. I would never buy a new car unless I can pay cash for it, I do not have even a single credit card. I owe no one and have nothing new! And I love it. I clip coupons and shop sales and plan, plan, plan. But this chick has inspired me to up my game. So I am launching a new way of spending and will keep you all updated on how it goes. I so strongly encourage everyone to try it. Why on earth would you spend money that you don't have to.

Leaves are falling

How fun was Saturday!! We not only found Abby's car seat (now she could really come any time) But we found some of those orange Jock-o-lantern trash bags. I got to take about a million pictures of the kids and Joe filling the bags with leaves. My kids played for about an hour and would have kept on going if the sun was not going down and bedtime was approaching rapidly. It was so much fun!!!

Abigail has a bed!!

She needed somewhere to sleep, and all I had was my old boys bedding so I decided to head out and get some fabric and just make something, seeing as I was not willing to spend the $40 plus dollars on a bumper and sheet set. I covered Jordan's old bumper and made a new sheet. I got the flannel for less than $15.00. My only set back is that I underestimated the amount of fabric I would need for the bumper and ended up putting in the red patch with her name on it made out of one of my old tee shirts and some embroidery floss. All in all don't look close but, I love it! And boy is it so stinkin soft! So one more thing down, her clothes from ebay, all her 0-3 stuff for $30.00,  are in the mail and her car seat, yet to get but mom wants to do it so we are waiting on that one. but I am about ready for her to show up!!  And let me just add while I am tooting my little spending horn,that I got that crib at a yard sale for $20.00 when Michael was born. Holly cow am I a cheapskate or what. 

For Robyn

Aunt Robyn over at Food Chronicles shared my Great Grandmothers Goulash recipe with us last week. I had to try it, I cannot remember ever eating it before. My mom said she made it for us but for some reason it is not in my memory. Oh well, I gave it a go tonight to break our fast Sunday with. ( I should say Joe's fast Sunday being pregnant means I do not fast for a while still) Let me say I am a HUGE fan of goulash! Who knew??? Thank you for sharing it with me. The thought of Dad eating this with my Aunts made it even more special!

Sorry so late

I was going to finish with conference and then I got so stinkin sick that I have no been blogging so I will just finish my conference posts by saying. I love the gospel. I love that twice a year the whole church gathers together to listen to direct guidance for our day. I believe that the Lord does truly speak to the leaders of our church and we are instructed fro our day! Man, I love the gospel!!!

Now on to other things less important but fun all the same..

I have been tagged for and 8 things meme,

8 T.V. shows I love to watch:

1. The office!!

2. Little house on the prairie

3. Bones

4. Law and order (all of them)

5. House

6. Survivor

7. Brady Bunch

8. Keeping up appearances

8 things that happened yesterday:

1. Found clothes for baby Abby online 

2. Talked to my mom who made me feel special!! (thanks mom)

3. watched my kids turn pillowcases into toys when they lost there toy room privileges

4. layed on the couch (I am getting really sick of this one)

5. Made dinner

6. cuddled with Joe for Comedy night done right!!

7. Got sad Kath and Kim was lame!

8. worked on my Sunday School lesson 

8 favorite places to eat

1. HOME

2. Olive Garden (soup, salad, and bread sticks anyone??)

3. Micky-dees (gross I know)

4. Wingers

5. Sonic (but really just to drink)

6. Costco ( 7 bucks to feed the fam, not to shabby)

I am such a dork, I have no idea, I guess I don't get out enough!!

8 things I am looking forward to:

1. Delivery of Abby!!! 1 month people!!!

2. Joe getting a truck, I would love to have my van back

3. Christmas

4. Blessing Abby in Vegas!!!

5. Some day Joe being home more

6. Seeing Michael actually build a robot to clean his room (I bet he will do it someday)

7. Going on a mission with Joe

8. Buying our dream R.V. and showing my kids the country!

8 things on my wish list:

1. Disneyland with the whole Pender clan

2. a new couch

3. A house that is mine

4. New scriptures

5.  post baby Shopping spree

6. My mom being closer (one of us would have to move, head or tails mom )

7. A maid

8. my old wedding ring back!

So this proves I am a seriously boring person. Holy cow how lame am I!!

I don't tag anyone but if you have not done it, do. It would be fun to read!!

I had to share

I will continue with women's conference tomorrow but I had to show you my finger I attempted to sew to my new curtains!!

How wonderful

                      If you did not get a chance to see woman's conference go here to see it. 

     I am so excited to write this post even if it is a little bit late coming. I just love Woman's Conference! It happens once a year and, what an incredible thing to be a part of. It is so fun to it in the chapel or in our homes or even if you are lucky in the conference center. and think "I am a part of a worldwide organization that is specifically designed to enrich and uplift the world. And the thing that makes us so very different from so many other organizations out there is that we have a divine, loving Father in Heaven who is guiding us though direct inspiration to our leaders, who share all they have with us. Once a year imagine how many women are sitting all over the world waiting to hear what they need to do, to get direction from the leaders who love them. All of us waiting together to be inspired to "be a little better"

For a few weeks I have been praying for those who will be speaking at conference this year. There are some things I have been hoping to hear this go around and for myself, I got what I needed. 

I thought I would share a few things I learned with all of you. 

     First of all I thought it was so wonderful when Sister Beck called her counselors and board members "women of STATURE and ABILITY." I have never thought of those two words together before, but what a great statement to try to achieve. 

     I was so glad to hear her talk about the Relief Society all over the world being a great group of women and then telling us it was time for us "to fulfill our purpose as never before" Can you imagine what that means, I thought of the pioneer women who worked every day to help each other and themselves to build up the kingdom of God. They did so much and now I am wondering what we will be asked to do this year that we have not been doing, or been doing well enough. For me I put together the end of her talk where she said "We have to seek, receive, and act on personal revelation" She went on to tell us that we have to be STILL ad QUIET enough to hear it. She told us all that this "requires serious mental effort" I was thinking, for me this means I need to surround myself with less noise. My kids are noisy enough on there own, it doesn't hep my frustration levels to have any extra noise! I will be turning off the extra stuff, even when it is just music I don't need to have it on all the time, and the T.V. wow,  I am so done with that one! 

     Sister Beck told us all (and I think this goes with the fulfilling our purpose) that "the priesthood AND the women need to catch the spirit of relief society. I am so grateful that I married a man who understands the importance of having "both of the hoods" (priesthood and womanhood) as he calls it work together. I have never really thought that there may be some people out there who may not be so lucky. I hope there are not too many of them, and I hope this part of Sister Beck's talk comes together soon. 

     I am going to quit for now and continue with the rest of the meeting tomorrow, and the next day, and probably the next day. I hope to gather your thoughts so I can continue to contemplate the things we all have been taught! So lets start with sister Becks talk and tomorrow we will go on to Sister Allred.

Pill Baby

The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mothers watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say "This kid is driving me CAZY!"

He won't be 2 for 3 months will I survive the next year??

(Thank you to Robert Munsch for the perfect words to describe a two year old)

Rain is falling

All around

On the rooftops

On the ground

Rain is falling

On my noes 

On my Hands 

And feet and toes!

I wanted to post good news today so I decided to list some things I am grateful for. 

*I love my family

*Especially my special husband who I know does more than most for me 

and I do not take that for granted.

*The Lord guides my life We cannot go wrong if we listen

*My sweet moments with my children

*The lady on Saturday at the farmers market who told me I was the cutest pregnant lady she had ever seen, Really she made my day.

*Getting to go to the Farmers Market on Saturday, thank you Joe again!

*The rain watering what is left in my garden, I'm not allowed to walk and thanks to gas Joe and I are sharing a car so I have not been able to get there to water.

*The lady's in my ward who water and weed for me when they can

*The lady's in my ward who visit me on my couch. 

*The rain today

*The scary thunder that is scaring my kids who I get to comfort. 

*Movies that make me laugh, I saw Baby Mama this weekend it was great!

*Peanuts in the shell, I love those!!

*Joe's dad who came to visit this weekend and he left behind almost a whole bag of peanuts! 

*Love from everyone who loves me!

*The Love I feel for everyone I love!!

Shopping therapy

I am so sick of sitting in my living room doing nothing all day. All I do is make myself sick worrying over things that I cannot control. And being angry because I am so sick of not being able to take care of my kids the way I should. So today as I sit here I decided I am sick of being grumpy I am going to just take the days as they come and get over the grumps! So I went to the lds distribution services website and went to town. 

For a very long time I have waned to buy the hymns in American Sign Language. It is a great way to keep up a skill that I am quickly loosing and I do not want to loose. Joe said a few weeks ago that he would like to learn to sign so that he could yell at the kids in sign language like I do sometimes. So I figure this is the best way to teach him. 

I also got then new Nursery manuel called Behold our little ones. The church has encouraged all those families with young children to use it in their homes and now I will be able to. I can't wait. 

At least for today I have something to look forward to, that is not 7 more weeks away. It was fun and only cost me $10.50 not a bad way, or a bad price to beat the blues today. 

Today I am lonely

Some days it really hits me that my family is so very far away! The days that I wake up with headaches and don't feel like eating I just miss them so so much! I feel like staying in bed all day. I want to call my mom but I am afraid I will cry and then she will cry and I can't handle being the cause of her being sad. I love being where I know I am supposed to be. Joe and I have learned to follow the spirit in every aspect of our life. And when we moved here it was direct guidance that we received. I never have questioned that. However I am lonely some days. Today is one of those days and I was not going to blog about it but I feel like putting it out there. 

Robyn wrote about my Dad today and as much as I love it (keep it coming I really do) today was probably not the day I should have read it. Instead of making me feel the joy I normally do when I hear stories of him. Today I was sobbing for an hour after I was finished reading it. I missed him so much it hurt. I felt sad that my older brother was gone too. More sad that all I have is wheat bread,  I felt, just sad, there's really no other word to say it. Just sad! 

Michael caught me crying after my shower this afternoon and he wrapped his arms around me and said "Mom are you sad" When I said yes he said "Do you miss Daddy?" I said yes I miss your Daddy but I miss my Daddy today. We ended up talking for a long time about my Dad and Brother. We talked and held each other for a long time each of my kids coming into my bed at separate times until all four of us were snuggled into my bed with me. We had a great time talking about heaven and Death and temples where we are sealed for eternity. We talked about Michael's name and where it comes from.  It was a precious moment, an afternoon well waisted in bed. 

How grateful I am for the sealing powers that bind my family together my father, my brother. And now my own family husband, wife, father, son, mother, daughter. We have been made an eternal family just like my mom and dad. We will never part. there is nothing that will separate us. No distance, No death can take my family from me at least not forever. 

So as I sit here missing everyone. Not just my dad and brother. But, my whole family my mom, and sisters, my little brother. I still am grateful for the presence of my Heavenly Father and his Son who bring me back to happiness, when I am ready, and show me that the plan is a great one. Even if it doesn't always make sense to my brain. Someday I will be able to have a better knowledge of why things are the way they are. I can have my questions answered and maybe even my Dad can be the one who explains it all to me. Today I just want it to be now and not later.