I had to share

I will continue with women's conference tomorrow but I had to show you my finger I attempted to sew to my new curtains!!

How wonderful

                      If you did not get a chance to see woman's conference go here to see it. 

     I am so excited to write this post even if it is a little bit late coming. I just love Woman's Conference! It happens once a year and, what an incredible thing to be a part of. It is so fun to it in the chapel or in our homes or even if you are lucky in the conference center. and think "I am a part of a worldwide organization that is specifically designed to enrich and uplift the world. And the thing that makes us so very different from so many other organizations out there is that we have a divine, loving Father in Heaven who is guiding us though direct inspiration to our leaders, who share all they have with us. Once a year imagine how many women are sitting all over the world waiting to hear what they need to do, to get direction from the leaders who love them. All of us waiting together to be inspired to "be a little better"

For a few weeks I have been praying for those who will be speaking at conference this year. There are some things I have been hoping to hear this go around and for myself, I got what I needed. 

I thought I would share a few things I learned with all of you. 

     First of all I thought it was so wonderful when Sister Beck called her counselors and board members "women of STATURE and ABILITY." I have never thought of those two words together before, but what a great statement to try to achieve. 

     I was so glad to hear her talk about the Relief Society all over the world being a great group of women and then telling us it was time for us "to fulfill our purpose as never before" Can you imagine what that means, I thought of the pioneer women who worked every day to help each other and themselves to build up the kingdom of God. They did so much and now I am wondering what we will be asked to do this year that we have not been doing, or been doing well enough. For me I put together the end of her talk where she said "We have to seek, receive, and act on personal revelation" She went on to tell us that we have to be STILL ad QUIET enough to hear it. She told us all that this "requires serious mental effort" I was thinking, for me this means I need to surround myself with less noise. My kids are noisy enough on there own, it doesn't hep my frustration levels to have any extra noise! I will be turning off the extra stuff, even when it is just music I don't need to have it on all the time, and the T.V. wow,  I am so done with that one! 

     Sister Beck told us all (and I think this goes with the fulfilling our purpose) that "the priesthood AND the women need to catch the spirit of relief society. I am so grateful that I married a man who understands the importance of having "both of the hoods" (priesthood and womanhood) as he calls it work together. I have never really thought that there may be some people out there who may not be so lucky. I hope there are not too many of them, and I hope this part of Sister Beck's talk comes together soon. 

     I am going to quit for now and continue with the rest of the meeting tomorrow, and the next day, and probably the next day. I hope to gather your thoughts so I can continue to contemplate the things we all have been taught! So lets start with sister Becks talk and tomorrow we will go on to Sister Allred.

Pill Baby

The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was two years old, and he ran all around the house. He pulled all the books off the shelves. He pulled all the food out of the refrigerator and he took his mothers watch and flushed it down the toilet. Sometimes his mother would say "This kid is driving me CAZY!"

He won't be 2 for 3 months will I survive the next year??

(Thank you to Robert Munsch for the perfect words to describe a two year old)

Rain is falling

All around

On the rooftops

On the ground

Rain is falling

On my noes 

On my Hands 

And feet and toes!

I wanted to post good news today so I decided to list some things I am grateful for. 

*I love my family

*Especially my special husband who I know does more than most for me 

and I do not take that for granted.

*The Lord guides my life We cannot go wrong if we listen

*My sweet moments with my children

*The lady on Saturday at the farmers market who told me I was the cutest pregnant lady she had ever seen, Really she made my day.

*Getting to go to the Farmers Market on Saturday, thank you Joe again!

*The rain watering what is left in my garden, I'm not allowed to walk and thanks to gas Joe and I are sharing a car so I have not been able to get there to water.

*The lady's in my ward who water and weed for me when they can

*The lady's in my ward who visit me on my couch. 

*The rain today

*The scary thunder that is scaring my kids who I get to comfort. 

*Movies that make me laugh, I saw Baby Mama this weekend it was great!

*Peanuts in the shell, I love those!!

*Joe's dad who came to visit this weekend and he left behind almost a whole bag of peanuts! 

*Love from everyone who loves me!

*The Love I feel for everyone I love!!

Shopping therapy

I am so sick of sitting in my living room doing nothing all day. All I do is make myself sick worrying over things that I cannot control. And being angry because I am so sick of not being able to take care of my kids the way I should. So today as I sit here I decided I am sick of being grumpy I am going to just take the days as they come and get over the grumps! So I went to the lds distribution services website and went to town. 

For a very long time I have waned to buy the hymns in American Sign Language. It is a great way to keep up a skill that I am quickly loosing and I do not want to loose. Joe said a few weeks ago that he would like to learn to sign so that he could yell at the kids in sign language like I do sometimes. So I figure this is the best way to teach him. 

I also got then new Nursery manuel called Behold our little ones. The church has encouraged all those families with young children to use it in their homes and now I will be able to. I can't wait. 

At least for today I have something to look forward to, that is not 7 more weeks away. It was fun and only cost me $10.50 not a bad way, or a bad price to beat the blues today. 

Today I am lonely

Some days it really hits me that my family is so very far away! The days that I wake up with headaches and don't feel like eating I just miss them so so much! I feel like staying in bed all day. I want to call my mom but I am afraid I will cry and then she will cry and I can't handle being the cause of her being sad. I love being where I know I am supposed to be. Joe and I have learned to follow the spirit in every aspect of our life. And when we moved here it was direct guidance that we received. I never have questioned that. However I am lonely some days. Today is one of those days and I was not going to blog about it but I feel like putting it out there. 

Robyn wrote about my Dad today and as much as I love it (keep it coming I really do) today was probably not the day I should have read it. Instead of making me feel the joy I normally do when I hear stories of him. Today I was sobbing for an hour after I was finished reading it. I missed him so much it hurt. I felt sad that my older brother was gone too. More sad that all I have is wheat bread,  I felt, just sad, there's really no other word to say it. Just sad! 

Michael caught me crying after my shower this afternoon and he wrapped his arms around me and said "Mom are you sad" When I said yes he said "Do you miss Daddy?" I said yes I miss your Daddy but I miss my Daddy today. We ended up talking for a long time about my Dad and Brother. We talked and held each other for a long time each of my kids coming into my bed at separate times until all four of us were snuggled into my bed with me. We had a great time talking about heaven and Death and temples where we are sealed for eternity. We talked about Michael's name and where it comes from.  It was a precious moment, an afternoon well waisted in bed. 

How grateful I am for the sealing powers that bind my family together my father, my brother. And now my own family husband, wife, father, son, mother, daughter. We have been made an eternal family just like my mom and dad. We will never part. there is nothing that will separate us. No distance, No death can take my family from me at least not forever. 

So as I sit here missing everyone. Not just my dad and brother. But, my whole family my mom, and sisters, my little brother. I still am grateful for the presence of my Heavenly Father and his Son who bring me back to happiness, when I am ready, and show me that the plan is a great one. Even if it doesn't always make sense to my brain. Someday I will be able to have a better knowledge of why things are the way they are. I can have my questions answered and maybe even my Dad can be the one who explains it all to me. Today I just want it to be now and not later.

What we did this summer

I had planned on catching up on things but it seems I would just

 fall further behind so I am summing up with a slideshow of what 

we did over the summer while we were out of the blogging world. 

Hope you enjoy!

Hello!!

Leave it to Jordan to break up the monotony of Sunday! He did this for almost five minutes before I got out the camera. 

Man I love this man!!

      Just look at him! How could you not love a guy like mine. This man is the hardest working, most loving guy I have ever known. As the horrible sick days have dragged on month after endless month, he has never once complained. Never once uttered anything in frustration to me other than "sit down and let me serve you!" He wakes every morning with an alarm ringing in his ears and the sun still hours behind the mountains. He works in a job where he has zero respect. They treat him badly and then expect him to help them whenever they need him. And what does he do (most of the time) He bides his time. He knows there is just no way he can quit now, we need him to be there. The pro's do outweigh the con's. So he spends all day wanting to be home, and most days after at least 12 hours, drags himself through the door with a smile and a hug for each of our kids. They hardly ever see how very tired he his. On the days that I have not been able to get dinner ready he goes to the kitchen and scrambles some eggs or makes peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches. Then he cleans and changes the kids, tells me to sit on the couch, gets the dishes done, sees to it that scriptures get read (even if some days we only share a spiritual thought) prayers get said and each child gets a story, then he tucks them into bed with a kiss. Then and only then does he hop in the shower for I swear like 5 minutes, before he comes out to sit with me. Then he inevitably falls asleep within minutes. I wake him when I am ready and off to bed we go to do it all over again tomorrow. 

These last couple of years have been so very rough for us, to say the very least. We have been through some bad choices made, many moves (10 in 5 years), several down and out fights, and soon to be 4 kids in 5 years. But these things have brought us together in a way that we will never be able to part. This man has held me while I've grieved, held my hair while I've puked, and held my babies while I slept. He has brought us through the rough spots, when I have wanted to throw in the towel, he has used it to wipe up the mess. And the best part of him is that he would never know what a wonderful (not a good enough word) man he truly is. I never made a better choice than the one a made three months into knowing him. The day he was joined to me for eternity. It is a day I can only hope to be worthy of. I know my own hell would be spending eternity without him. He his my soul mate, I swear we were made to be together. I would not trade all of the comforts of this world for our life. Even if we never have another home of our own, or a couch that is not falling to pieces, even if... all of those things I would not change any of it. Because it means I get to be with him. He is mine and how proud I am of Him. I will hold my claim for him as dear to me as any treasure. I will fight for our family till the day I die, I will stand before my Savior and say we made it. I will not let myself be taken from him. He is my best friend for eternity and I will do all in my own power to keep it that way. 

Welcome welcome Ness my Dear

I have to give a big shout out to my Big sister Jenessa! I just love her to pieces and have been pushing her to get on here for a while now! She has the cutest family and her life is always full of funny stories to share with all of us. She is fabulous! Go check her out here

I totally agree

It is so funny, look down I am tied up for Goofy, Cinderella, and Snow White!! How funny is that. It's like the computer looked through the screen and said, "this chick has not combed her hair yet this morning she could never be a princess" 

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego? created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Goofy Your alter ego is Goofy! You are fun and great to be around, and you are always willing to help others. You arn't worried about embarrassing yourself, so you are one who is more willing to try new things. Cinderella 88% Goofy 88% Snow White 88% The Beast 75% Peter Pan 69% Cruella De Ville 50% Sleeping Beauty 50% Pinocchio 50% Ariel 25% Donald Duck 19%

Plant a Garden

This year way back in Spring we panted a community garden with some of the lady's in my ward. I rode along to the nursery with my friend Kristen, she has been doing a garden every year since she was a kid. She was going to teach me, so we went and picked some plants that had already been started. She said that would be easier for us to do. We picked four kinds of peppers, six tomato plants, cantaloupe, water melon, pumpkin, yellow squash, and zucchini. It was so much fun to plant them with my kids. They helped dig the little holes and then we went over ever other day to water and weed. I don't think my kiddos really understood what was happening until things started to grow. And grow they did. We had a huge pumpkin before we had anything else. Kristen talked to a farmer she knows who sells pumpkin and he told us to cut it off because it was too soon and it would suck all of he nutrients out of the vine and we would not get any more starts. Anyway these pictures are from about a month ago when things first started to really appear. I will have to put up more pictures of what has come up now.  It has been so much fun. I have decided I will be growing a garden every year. The taste of the tomato's alone is worth all of the effort. And who knew I love zucchini. 

Alma 13:28

For a few years now I have had a problem with the statement "The Lord does not tempt you beyond that which you can bear." I have mentioned it to few because I have been searching to find an answer to my question... Our Father in Heaven has laws to abide by and Satan breaks every law possible so, how can we say that Satan will not be able to tempt us. It seems to me he would try his very best to sneak in and abuse the powers that our loving Father in Heaven wants to protect us with.  He does not have to listen to the laws of God, in fact he will break them at any chance he gets, that is what makes him The Devil Right??

I have been thinking about this for a long time, we are talking years here people. I haven't thought about it every day but, whenever I hear someone mention it I have wondered!

As I was sitting in Relief Society today we were talking about the Plan of Salvation and what it means for us and the topic turned to those cartoons where you see the Devil on one shoulder and and angel on the other, then when the person makes the wrong choice they say The devil made me do it. The teacher then quoted Joseph Smith saying "All beings have power over those who have not"  Going on from there we ended up talking about how Satan has 1/3 of the host of Heaven at his disposal to help him in tempting us but, because they have no bodies we still have way more power than they do to overcome those temptations. 

When you read Paul's words in 1 Cor. 10:13 he says " There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able" it does not stop there he goes on to say "But will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it" 

My question rages on he does not say he will stop temptation just that you can make an escape...  Anyway I found a scripture that finishes my point Alma 13:28 "But ye that would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his Holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear" Alma  then goes on to describe the attributes that lead to eternal life. humble, meek submissive, repentance, charity, ect...  

So back to the angel and the devil scenario. I think I have figured it out finally. We are to make our homes and our lives be in such and order having all of the attributes of Heaven in order to be able to have those spirits who work for our good, be it guardian angels, ministers, spirits, whatever, be able to fight in our lives. Because Satan does not have to abide any laws he can send any and all of his destroyers he wants to bring us down. But if we have humbled ourselves and fortified our lives in such a way that our Father in Heavens spirits can stand to be with us then, and only then, can they fight our battles with us  and help us to not be tempted above what we can handle. 

Yet another example of the Book of Mormon and he Bible working together to answer my questions. Let me know what you think?? I would love to hear your opinions on this subject.

No stress for the Weary

I am so glad I do not have to worry about this any longer. At my ultrasound I closed my eyes and the nurse made a video of what we were having.  I wanted to find out with Joe, and the kids so we put in the movie after dinner. And Ora could not have been more bored. There was not a doubt in her mind that this baby was not going to be an answer to prayer. What would I give to have that faith, couldn't she want a million dollars for mommy?? No, well I guess that would not be the best use of her special relationship with her Father in Heaven. 

OBGYN

So I knew this would happen, (can you say Pessimist). Yet again what you want and what you get are two very different things. 

I guess the story begins with, it took us a very long time to be able to hear the baby's heart beat. I can't remember the exact week but it was well after 10. Well after 10. My midwife said that it was probably just because the placenta was lying in front of the baby. Not a great thing but, no big deal. Things went along normally for a while and I was able to not be so stinking sick, which I attribute totally to my midwife. The pineapple was great. But in the back of my head I was worried, not really about anything real, just nervous. The baby moved and got stronger and seemed to be very healthy. Until at my last appointment when yet again we could not hear the baby very well and so my midwife suggested that I go in and see and OB to get an ultrasound to see if things were okay.  She wanted to check the heart and make sure things were where they were supposed to be. Needless to say I got even more nervous and was starting to really pray about what I was going to do. I was feeling like something was just "not right" I was waking up in the night trying to figure out why I was so nervous. I was over thinking everything, all of the things that could be wrong were swirling around in my brain and I could not get through them.  Would I stay with my midwife who I like or, was I going to switch, Would I even have a choice 

This morning I went in and met with the Dr. he was great, he listened to all of my problems and concerns, and answered ALL of my many questions.  Then I was sent for my ultrasound, it was so fun to see the baby and to see that the baby was very healthy. But, I have what they call placenta abruption, That is when the placenta starts to pull away from the uterus before the baby is born, or in my case even ready to be born. In my case it has not separated completely  and is not even at risk at this point for doing that. But, I have been officially switched into a hospital birth with a new OB at 28 weeks. Not what I wanted but still what I need and kind of funny because this is how the system should work. If we have problems we need Dr.'s to help out.

I have to say after feeling so anxious for a very long time I am wishing I had listened sooner to what my body was telling me and had this checked out sooner, instead of trying to fight through the feelings I was having just to prove a point. I would have saved myself allot of trouble. 

So now I am getting ready for an induction the minute the baby is ready so that I can try to avoid a C-section by easing the stress on the uterus for the delivery. But I am getting myself ready for any outcome, that involves a healthy newborn. 

It is so funny the way things turn out sometimes. Now we just have to pray for a girl because I am not sure Ora will be okay with a boy. She prays every time she prays for a sister and when I tell her it may not be a girl she says, "No Heavenly Father my best friend he will give me a sister"         So even after all of this stress about he healthy baby my number one focus is going to be the shaken faith of my THREE year old if she does not have her prayers answered. Any advice for the rock solid faith of a three year old?????

She's ALIVE!!!

Holy Cow, where did she go??? Let me tell you, I have been in an internet nightmare for months! We have wi-fi and had been able to use the internet in our house for a while and then whoever owned it realized that he was sharing and locked it out, so we decided to "buy" our own through T-mobile. And have been trying to get that going for months!!! I gave up last week deciding I would just go to the library if I really needed to get on. And I just happened to open my computer to write in my journal and Someone else has a wi fi connection that I am using. I guess we will see how long this lasts. 

I will post more at another time. But, hey I have been away for so long I want to see what ou all have been up to!!!!