More like Mary

I am getting more ready every day to have this new baby, and with the Christmas season upon me I am finding myself wondering what Mary must have been thinking when she was getting ready to deliver the Savior. Did she have any idea what she was getting herself into? She knew she would deliver God's child but, did she know what that meant? Did she know all of the things he would do and say, how much he would have to suffer? I wonder if she was more like all of us other mothers than we think.

Every baby we are given has a piece of divinity in them, a literal God given light that they are given to help them through their mortal journey. As a mother it is my job to make sure they never wonder about who they are, becasue they are who they have always been, from the beginging, A child of a Heavenly Father who loves them and who has a plan laid out for them. It is my job to make my home feel warm and safe, to be the kind of place where they can feel the spirit unrestrained. A place where they can realize what they are to become.

What a joy and a blessing to know that these creatures who are brought into our lives are in every way unique little spirits who already are someone, they came here with a soul. A soul they have been molding for a very long time. A new body but and old soul. They must realize who they are so they can grow beyond where they have been to be what they are meant to be.

Jesus Christ came here with a plan laid out for him, whether his mother knew all he would go through or not she had to do the same things we must do in order for him to become who he did. She had to learn patience and compassion, and mabye more than all of us how to be truly in line with the will of God, and accept that will not only for herself, but for her child.

I hope that I will be able to teach my children how much they are like the Savior, how much they are able to be like him. But, more importantly how much they must be like him in order to return to live with their own Father in Heaven again. I pray every day that I can do this for them. And as the Season is here, I am so greatfull for the example of Mary, the mother of my Brother Jesus Christ.

I AM DONE

I am so excited to announce that I am done shopping for Christmas. Everyone is taken care of. I needed to be done early becaus ein a few short days or weeks I will have a new baby that I am sure would not have fun going out shoping. So I decided this year to venture into the catolog and online shoping world.

I found a few really great websites www.redenvelope.com for my in laws and http://www.sensoryedge.com for my kids. The only problem I ran into was on ebay, when I bought my mother in law a memory quilt and had a horrific time trying to email the pictures to the woman making the quilt. I used to think I was pretty smart when it comes to the internet, but however I am not. Hopefully I will be able to become more comfortable with it some day.

I cannot express in words how great I feel to be done. Mabye I am now going to be able to relax and just focus on having this baby. I don't know how it would have felt to go into the hospital and them come home with so little time to get things ready for Christmas.

Now comes the fun part of the Holidays for me, I love to be in the Kitchen for Christmas. Everything I can make I do, form Gingerbread to pumpkin bread, to pepermint bark, and even candy apples.
I am going to try to make somthing new this year, any ideas??
Let me know what your favorite thing to make for Christmas is. I would love to make somthing new.

LABOR PAINS

I have been in early labor now for four days. What does that mean you say, That means contractions every four minutes 24 hours a day for FOUR, count em FOUR days. I have been going in to get checked because I need to see where I am going and every time he says well... you are a little bit further. I could have screamed so many times.
Then I have a friend who is barely pregnant with her fourth baby say to me, I just don't know what that feels like.. with my babies I have one contraction and 3 or 4 hours later I have baby. Again I could have screamed. "BAD TIMING!!!"
Any way I promised myself that with this baby I would try to be as gracful as possible through out the whole thing, and that I would be patient at the end. Well, after the first 4 months of being on bed rest and home health, track marked arms from botched I.V.s, one ambulance ride from throwing up blood, and then a realy bad reaction to a new medication. I thought that the Lord would at least make the end more bearable!!! I am not sure why I felt this way, but I did. And I have been angry, grumpy, and I am sure a lot of other words the people I live with would not say to my face.
Until today. I can always count on my mom to remind me of my grace.

As I have said before I am not a princess, but for those of you out there who do not really understand what this means...
I am the type to cut up a dead bug to see what it looks like inside, not run away form it. I am facinated by all things relating to the human body, especialy when it comes to cutting them open to see how they work. I realy did watch as a Dr. cut out a little tumer in my gut, and I loved the whole process.
(Okay got off track)
I am a pea and grace is a word to describe my mother, her mother and all of her 8 sisters. I am not graceful. But I am trying so......
Here is to having a better attitude in the end (which I know will someday come, even though some days it doesn't feel that way) of what will mabye turn out to be

FIVES MEME

Got is from Smee who got it from Lolly.....

All about 5s...


1) Five Minutes to Yourself. How would you spend them, ideally?
I can't even begin the fathom that idea. Lately any five minutes alone I am naked from the waste down sitting on paper in the doctors office. I guess ideally... I would be reading a really good book.
.2) Five dollars to spend right now. How would you spend it?Right this minute I am freezing, so Starbucks caramel apple cider.
3) Five Items In Your House You Could Part With Right Now? Lets pretend I am in my own house...(OH that's nice) 1. My prince's box of high school crap that he never looks at. 2. My own box of high school crap that I never look at. 3. Smelly diapers (this is just laziness, I would rather smell them than go outside to dump them) 4. My maternity clothes, in 4 more weeks this will feel good. 5. ANY TOY THAT MAKES NOISE!!!!
4) Five Items In My House You Could Absolutely Never Part With?
1. My journals 2. My dads journals, and poetry!!! 3. Scriptures 4. Change jar, it keeps me looking forward to the vacation we will go on when it is full. 5. Computer
5) Five Words You Love? 1. "Mommy" when voiced by one of the offspring,(took that from Smee) 2. "Bedtime" 3. "Please"no one says it enough 4. "Thanks"again not enough 5. "Push" I just realy want this baby out of me!!!

the second meme
1. Favorite memory of your mother: When my daughter was born my mother held her and I knew she was right there with my day. I have felt that before on the day I went through the temple but, this time it was different because I was not at all distracted, I just watched as he put his arms around them both and held them. I could see my mom smelling him . It really is a memory I will never forget.
2. Favorite memory of my dad: I only have other people memories, but I have a song, a lullaby he wrote for his kids and when I sing it I can see him rocking me in the middle of the night singing it to me. It is a great memory because it can follow me wherever I go. I can change it to what I need. I don't have to be a baby to be rocked and sung too, he can hold me whenever I need it.
3. Favorite memory of your sibling(s): Disneyland!! We went every year for a long time. It seems this was the only time we were not fighting. We would spend the day laughing and running onto rides. Eating churros and suckers, Even the drive down was fun.
4. What one skill would you like to wake up tomorrow and be able to do (though you'd never learned it): I want to be able to cook, not just cook but COOK! You know make real food, the best my family gets is Tacos.
5. Which one of your dreams has come true: I agree with Smee again, getting married to the man of my dreams, I guess not just mine but, my Heavenly Fathers dreams for me. I know there is this person who is there to help me through life. Whenever I get "sick of it" he is there to pull me out of my funk and get me back on track. And it seems whenever he is in that place, as we all are at sometime, we are never in it together. We can always count on each other to get back on track.

Thank you to Smee, and Lolly I always seem to have fun with the meme's.

Amazed

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me
Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me
I tremble to know that for me he was crucified
That for me, a sinner, he suffered, he bled and died
Chorus:
Oh, it is wonderful that he should care for me
enough to die for me
Oh, it is wonderfulWonderful to me
I marvel that he would descend from his throne divine
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine
That he should extend his great love unto such as I
Sufficient to own, to redeem and to justify
(Repeat chorus)
I think of his hands, pierced and bleeding to pay my debt
Such mercy, such love and devotion can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me
Secure in the promise of life in his victory
Thus ransomed from death I will live to my Savior's praise
And sing of his goodness and mercy through endless days

It is the last verse that we do not sing that really gets me. This is one of my very favorite hymns. I think of it always when I am feeling weighed down and bothered. And lately it seems I have been singing it a lot. Life sometimes does weigh us down, and it is so easy to forget why we have come here to earth to go through the things that we do. I do know that my savior came and died for me and it is because of that knowledge that I can carry on. I know that he suffered for me and will carry me through the joys and sorrows that comes with choosing to go through this life. Thank goodness as Smee says eternity is a mile long string and this life is but a very small knot.

The "Hoods"

I cannot belive how long a week can be. My prince had a whole week of vacation time so, we had planned a trip to Disneyland with our kids just a few days before #1 turned 3. (so we wouldn't have to pay for him) Well almost as predicted I am way to pregnant to do that. I ended up in the hopspital just 4 days before we were to leave. Not a big deal I got the flu and went into labor becuase I was dehydrated. No big thing. However, it did make my husband being home for a solid week a lot harder on him because he had to mostly take care of our kids while I laid in bed and got better.
NOTHING I mean NOTHING could have been better for us. He came to bed every night saying man I wish I had work tomarrow. He had no idea what it took to just keep our house and clothes clean let alone the fact that our children had to go to bed breathing every night. What a trooper he was. He gladly got up and did breakfast and got our kids dressed and then we would try to do somthing together as a family. On day we went to a pumpkin patch, another we just ate lunch in a real resturant, which we never do with our kids, but they did realy great. And one day his mom watched the kids while he and I went to lunch. (Soup salad and breadsticks anyone)
I am sure that if I had to wake up at 4 in the morning everyday and work for 14 hours I would want to shoot myself in the head. I am so glad I am a girl.
So to the "hoods" I am so blessed to live in a marrage where we do have the two "hoods" priesthood and motherhood. I am sure that will make for a very interesting and fun life for my kids. Having grown up in house where we had to call in the Priesthood, I know how blessed my children are not just to have a father, but one who is truly in line with his Heavenly Father. I also am so greatfull for a husband (who grew up missing his mother), who would rather work 5 jobs 24 hours a day before seeing me leave my children with a sitter.
How wonderful the gosple is, what a true way of life to live. I know that being a woman is so much more than being able to do whatever a man does, but being able to wake up two seconds before my child starts to cry. To feel when someone needs to be huged. To understands and translate to others what my daughter is trying to say. And to see my dead tired, dirty, stinky man walk through the door,scoop up his children then notice the spaghetti on the table just for him because he had a bad day and it's his favorite. All of that means so much more to me than any other thing in the whole world.